Page 28 of If You Love Me

“They’re so close,” I murmur.

“They are. They go out to bars and everything. They genuinely love spending time together.”

“My stepdad was super involved with my sisters like that. Not the bars, obviously, but they did things together all the time.” Maybe that’s part of the reason my relationship with my dad is so difficult. I long for that closeness, and it’s just not possible.

“I can’t imagine losing that.”

Flip, Tristan, and another man I haven’t seen before come through the doors. They head straight for our table so Tristan can say hi to Rix.

Essie pulls out her compact and quickly applies some gloss.

Tristan introduces the other man as his brother Nate before they join the guys lining the stools at the bar. I want to find a way to talk to Flip without being obvious. It’s impossible with so many of the guys around, though. I’m aware approaching him at the wrong time could make things worse instead of better.

I refocus on the girls, and making connections here, instead.

“How’s Nate doing?” Hemi asks Rix.

She nods. “He’s okay. It’s an adjustment, but I think it’s good for him.” She turns toward me. “Nate was planning to pursue a master’s, but he was offered his dream job, so he’s living with us until he can find a place of his own.”

“It’s so great that you have the space,” Hammer says.

“It is. And I think it’s good for Tristan and Nate, especially with Brody close by at Tilton U.”

“I’m kind of in love with the fact that my sister and Tally happened to find each other,” Essie muses.

“Right? It’s so perfect,” Rix agrees, then turns to me again, probably reading the confusion on my face. “Sorry, you have no idea what we’re on about, do you? Brody is Tristan’s youngest brother. He’s living on campus at Tilton this year, just like Tally and Essie’s younger sister, Cammie. I’m attending classes there too, but I’m partly online, and it’s a huge campus.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” I make a mental note that Tristan and Essie have university age siblings that go to Tilton.

“Lexi, we have something for you and your sisters!” Hammer passes a Terror tote bag down the table.

Dred does an excited seat shimmy. “It’s your welcome gift!”

“You didn’t need to do that,” I say as the bag is placed in front of me.

“It’s just something fun,” Hammer explains.

I remove the tissue paper. Inside is a pink shirt with the phraseBadass Babe Brigade. There are more pink things folded below it. “This is so cute.”

Hemi is all smiles. “Welcome to the Badass Babe Brigade. You’re an official member now.”

“We modified Callie’s shirt, because she’s eight, and we don’t want her wearing swear words.” Hammer winks.

“Smart.” I laugh, but I’m a little choked up. “Thank you. This is really… Thanks.”

Dred gives me a side hug. “Welcome to the Terror family.”

It’s terrifyingly amazing to be part of the group. And in theback of my mind, I wonder if Hammer would be quite so receptive if she knew the truth.

I’m folded into another hug by all the girls before I excuse myself to the ladies’ room. I need a moment, because I’m suddenly overwhelmed. I’m so used to doing everything on my own. People can’t accuse you of stepping on toes or climbing the ladder on the backs of favors if you don’t accept help. I didn’t realize how much I needed this camaraderie, to feel like I belong.

I’m not paying attention when I leave the bathroom and run right into a broad chest. I inhale deeply, breathing in the familiar scent of Roman’s aftershave. His hands curve around my shoulders as if to steady me, and every part of me is electrified by the touch. Other than a handshake, and the occasional puck pass, there’s been no physical contact. I should step back, separate myself from him, say something, do something. But I don’twantto.

I tip my head up, and my heart stutters in my chest, then gallops. There’s concern in his eyes, but the familiar heat is just as present. I need to keep my guard up with him, remain professional, but right now I feel so raw and needy. I long for the connection we shared. Ache for it in a way that’s become uncomfortably familiar lately.

“You looked upset. Are you okay, Lexi?” His thumb sweeps along the exposed skin at the collar of my shirt, sending a shiver down my spine.

It’s a damn wonder I don’t moan at howgoodit feels to be this close to him again. I long to melt into him. To feel the strength of his arms around me. To not be the one holding everything together.

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