Page 58 of If You Love Me

“Apparently not. How you hanging in there?”

"Close to breaking to be honest.”

“We’ll hold you together.” She hugs me again.

“It means so much that you’re my friend and you’re here.”

“There’s nowhere we’d rather be. Also, Connor in an elf suit is pretty fucking spectacular, and I plan to take many, many photos.” She inclines her head toward the living room. “Come on, let’s make some new memories.”

“Sounds good.” I’m so grateful I don’t have to handle today on my own.

“We’ve had this tree my whole life,” Callie explains. “My mom was allergic to pine sap, so we couldn’t have a real one. And all the ornaments are homemade. We make them for each other every year.”

“We do the same thing at the North Pole, don’t we, Elf Connor!” Roman exclaims.

“Yup. Sure do.” Connor inspects a clay snowman. “It’s a pretty bomb-ass tree.”

“It looks like an art project gone awry,” I whisper.

But I love it so much. Everyone else in our neighborhood had thematically decorated trees, and we had one in the front room that was for show, but we also always had the family tree after Fee and Callie were born.

“Can I offer anyone some coffee or hot chocolate?” I ask.

“I would love it most if you mixed the two together,” Connor says.

“That sounds delicious.” Roman pats his flat stomach andho hos.

Dred helps me doctor up the coffees, and when we return, I pause at the threshold. “Why does he have to be so obscenely kind?” Callie is sitting on Roman’s lap, telling him about her dream.

“Oh, my dear friend. What a complicated world we live in.” She gives me a look. “I know you think you’re not supposed to have feelings about or for that man, but Roman was born to do three things: play hockey, be the best kind of dad, and love people. As I mentioned, this was his idea.”

“He’s just being nice for my sisters.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Lexi.”

I side eye her.

“You deserve someone like him.” She smiles softly. “But I’ll pretend I don’t see or feel the tension between you two.”

We pass out the drinks, and I set a tray of chocolate croissants on the coffee table.

“Santa brought us presents!” Callie exclaims.

“I’ll get Fee. She won’t want to miss this.” I head down the hall and knock on her door.

“I’ll be out in a few minutes!”

“Can I come in for a sec?”

I hear her groan, but she follows with a yes.

I slip inside. “Santa and his elves are here.”

She wrinkles her nose. “Uhh…”

“Let me rephrase that. Roman is here, dressed as a very convincing Santa.”

Her brow furrows. “On Christmas?”

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