Page 66 of If You Love Me

A wave of calm follows, and I start to roll over, but she clings to me. “No, don’t. Stay, please.”

I pull back so I can meet her gaze. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She runs her fingers through my hair. “You’re the only person I can ever let go with. I want this feeling to last forever. I missed it so much.” She cups my face in her palms. “I missedyouso much.”

“I missed you, too.” I stroke her cheek. “Especially these past few months, when you were right in front of me but it felt like a million miles were separating us.”

“I hated it.”

“Me, too. So let’s not do that to each other again.”

“Never again.”

I claim her mouth. We’ll have to figure out tomorrow, but for now, I am lost in how good it feels to have her in my arms again.

CHAPTER 21

LEXI

“Afternoon, coaches.” Roman dips his chin as he passes us.

“You feeling game ready, Hammerstein?” Boxer asks.

“Absolutely. Looking to shut New York out and remind them who kicked their ass last year in the finals.” He winks and disappears into the locker room.

It’s been nearly a week since the Christmas miracle. If my vagina could grow legs and follow him, she would. I exhale a tense breath.

Vander Zee claps me on the shoulder. “Have confidence in your decisions, Forrester. It’s been a solid season. Roman’s in net tonight, and Grace is playing cleaner and smarter.”

“We’re sure playing him on the same line as Madden is a good idea?” Coach Thomas asks for the third time.

“It’s our best bet if we want to win against New York.” Boxer comes to my defense. Again.

Last week I brought up playing Madden and Grace on the same line again. After I backed up my suggestion with data and a strategy, Vander Zee ran with it. Our team can handle New York, but I’m reasonably nervous. Bowman is proving to be one of the best players in the league and they’ve been dominatingthis season.

Vander Zee is showing me he values my input by allowing the line change. Now I just need the team to prove I’m right.

“Madden can handle it,” Vander Zee assures us. “We discussed it earlier today. He understands what’s at stake.”

A win against New York will be good for team morale. And Madden and Grace have to play like they’re on the same team. Madden has been better, but Grace has been off since the holidays. I can only guess as to why. I’m hoping this strategy works tonight. Either they’ll get their shit together and be professionals or someone will end up on the bench. The former is preferred.

We join the team in the locker room for the pre-game strategy talk.

Roman is seated on a bench across the room, polishing a green apple on his jersey. A flush works its way up my neck. I look away.

How the hell do people have workplace romances without everyone finding out? I might as well be wearing a shirt that reads:The goalie owns me.

Two nights ago, Callie slept over at a friend’s house and Fee had dance practice and went to a movie with her friends, which meant I had the condo all to myself for several hours. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to invite Roman over.

Every moment of my life I’m the one people look to for guidance and support. My job is to lead the team, to work with other leaders, to prove that I’m capable and that my emotions don’t govern me when I’m on the ice.

But with Roman everything is different. I don’t have to be in control. I can give it to him and trust that he’ll take care of my every need. With Roman I finally feel like I truly belong to someone, mind, body and soul. I can forget who I’m supposed to be to everyone else because I’m justhis. His to tease, to pleasure, to take pleasure from. Three years ago he opened the door to the possibilities and now… I'm falling for every single part of him. Not just the man who can bring me limitless pleasure. I’m in love with his hard and soft sides. And especially the man who makes me feel seen and worshipped and cared for.

My time with him at Christmas was a reminder of all the things I’ve been missing—and gave me a glimpse of what we could be when the season is over.

However, reality remains the same. Christmas was a weak moment for both of us.

When he’s retired from the league, I’ll have to contend with the backlash of being in a relationship with one of my former players. But that will be manageable. And waiting has to become manageable, because I’ve worked too hard to throw it all away.

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