Page 85 of If You Love Me

“I got caught with all my friends’ vapes in my backpack.”

Roman props his chin on his fist. “Why did you have all your friends’ vapes in your backpack?”

It’s the old repeat-the-statement-back-to-the-person trick.

She cringes. “Because I’m an idiot.”

“Try again.”

She sighs. “Because I wanted to fit in.”

“And do you fit in now?” He’s so calm about it. So unruffled.

Seeing him like this shouldnotget me hot, especially under the circumstances, but damn, he’s good at this.

She focuses on her plate. “Only, like, one of the girls in the group has messaged, and it was to see if I still had their stuff.”

“They sound like a bunch of assholes and not great friends,” Roman observes.

“They’re not.” She sighs. “I don’t know where I fit anymore. I wanted to leave my old school because I was the girl whose parents died at the lake. And now I’m the girl who got caught with vapes.”

“Here’s the ranch dressing!” Callie plops back into her seat.

“Thanks, kiddo.” Roman winks, then looks to Fee. “Why don’t you just be you?”

“I don’t even know who that is anymore! Other than my fandom friends online, I don’t feel people at school even want to make room for new friends. I think those kids just want to be my friend because I get to hang out with you and the other guys on the Terror. I can’t talk about my weekends or who I’m with without it sounding like I’m bragging. Tally gets it, but no one else does, and she’s already in university, so we can’t hang out all the time. And it’s not like she wants to spend all her time with a high schooler. It’s my last year, and everything is hard, and I wanted it to be fun, but it’s the opposite.” She deflates like a balloon.

“Tally has been hanging out with my daughter and the other Terror women for the past two years. She was a high school senior last year, and my daughter, who will be twenty-two soon, spent loads of time with her. Very willingly. They’d happily welcome you, if that’s where you feel the most comfortable. Rix, Peggy, and Tally understand your situation, and it makes sense that you want to spend time with people who get you just as you are.”

“That’s all I want. Just for people to get me.” Fee turns to me. “I love you, and I’m super grateful that you let me and Callie come live with you, but things are so different. You’re not just my sister anymore. And then we moved, and I wanted it to be a fresh start, but sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself. I know you’re already stressed out because of this new job, and I didn’t want to add to it by dumping my problems on you.”

“Talking to me when you’re having a hard time isn’t dumping your problems on me. I’m here for you, both of you,” I assure her. “And I know our relationship has changed a lot, but I will always be here to help and listen. And Roman is right, the Terror girls are great, and if you want to spend more time with them, we can make that happen.”

“I think you and Peggy probably have more in common than you realize,” Roman says.

“Really? How?” Fee asks.

Roman tells her about how Peggy came to live with him when she was six, and she was basically raised by him and the team. He ended up hanging out with a lot of the older players who had families, because it made more sense after he had full custody of Peggy. Every word he speaks, every story he shares, every moment of connection he forms with my sisters winds him tighter around my heart.

“Did Peggy ever get in trouble?” Fee asks.

“Everyone gets in trouble. It’s about learning from your mistakes,” Roman replies.

“Did you ground her?” Callie asks, eyes wide.

“Depended on the circumstances. Sometimes I asked her what her punishment should be.”

The girls look to me. “Do you think we should try that?” I ask.

They glance at each other.

“It’s worth a shot,” Roman offers.

In the end, they’re harder on themselves than I ever would have been. Eventually I send them to their rooms because it’s getting late. Callie needs to go to bed, and Fee has homework. Callie is wiped from all the emotion, so it only takes one story for her to fall asleep.

“Why are you made of magic?” I ask Roman when I return to the kitchen and find the leftovers already put away and the dishes done.

“I have experience raising a girl in this environment. And I fully admit, I leveraged my power with them, which makes it easier. But you did great. You’re not failing, Lexi. Your instincts are spot on, and you love them so much. That’s what matters most.” He leans his hip against the counter. “I have a question, though, and it’s personal.”

---