Page 110 of Game Changer

“I’m thinking Lisa picked beautiful gifts for my Mom and Dad. They make mine look kinda lame, but she wanted to thank them for fronting the cash so she could stay in Alabama while I was in hospital.”

“Fuck, dude. That was the most awkward moment of my life. Your Mom was insisting that she’d cover Lisa’s unplanned trip extension. Lisa insisted she didn’t need any help. Talk about battle of the wills, man. Lisa was clearly embarrassed and too proud to back down, she kept looking at me like ‘either leave so you don’t witness this, or help me!’ But there was no way in hell I was standing up to your Mom – mostly ‘cause she was right! Lisa lost the argument right at the moment she said she could just take out a loan from the Credit Union at home. Your Mom practically forbade it. Mercifully, Lisa backed down eventually. You could see she was equal parts grateful and relieved, but pained that she needed to take money from your parents.”

AJ smiled. During one of his post-coma chats with his Mom, she’d told him that she’d inflicted her financial help onto Lisa. AJ had mentioned he was concerned about her trip causing strain on her finances and Cindy said she’d already taken care of it. He’d felt a surge of gratitude toward his parents, and to Lisa, for accepting the help, even though he knew she wouldn’t have liked to.

“And for real, whatcha thinkin’ – I know you better than that, dude.”

“Honestly? I’m thinking of staying. Dropping out of college, divorcing daddy’s little girl, finding a job here in a delicious eatery that will pay me in food, and marrying Lisa.”

“What could possibly go wrong?” Jeremy asked, skeptically.

“I know, right?” AJ laughed.

“I should have listened to you, man. I should never have married her.”

Jeremy pretended to faint.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. What did you say? Can you write that down for me and sign it?”

“Don’t gloat. You were right, ok? Ugh. And you know how bitter that shit tastes in my mouth to say.”

“It’s all fixable, Age. It’ll just take a little time.”

Thinking back to the look on Lisa’s face as she sat facing him on the sofa, he was starting to think that he perhaps didn’t have as much time as he needed.

Chapter 34

He hated being back in Alabama. He had seen a glimpse of what a future together with Lisa could be like during their time together in Ireland. He wanted more. Unfortunately, what with being married to Britt, that was illegal in all fifty states and in Ireland.

Not to mention I don’t think I could handle having two wives, even if one of them is a fake-wife.

He felt like a caged animal, able to move only so far within the confines of captivity, but inevitably coming up against the cold hard metal bars of reality. A reality that was keeping him from what his heart wanted – needed – to do. He was miserable. Every day he found himself fighting with his depression and was back to seeing his therapist a couple times every week to try and keep his anxieties at bay.

And all these thoughts that cloud my brain, make you think that I’m insane… but I’m just trying to find, a better way.

He’d given up on working on the song that wouldn’t come. But he was haunted by the few lyrics he’d managed to capture. It was as though the songs were taunting him somehow.

Like it’s not bad enough I can’t write you, now you’re teasing me about it. What if there isn’t a better friggin’ way? What if this is the best way? And it’s a shit way. What if the only way, is a goddamn shit way and there’s no better way? Maybe that’s why you can’t write the damn song.

Also? You’re officially insane. Talking to a song. You need to get out more, AJ. And laid, you definitely need to get laid.

***

“Dude?”

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“Earth to AJ, come in AJ. Where the hell are you, man? Greener pastures?” Jeremy gave him a knowing look.

“Something like that,” AJ shook his head in an attempt to bring him back to the ‘now’. “I’m trying to figure out what the hell to get Lisa for Christmas.”

“Can’t you just be present, Pim? What about me? What aboutus? We never talk aboutusanymore!” Jeremy wailed dramatically.

“Shut up!” AJ laughed and drank his coffee. “I’m sorry. I miss her. I know, I know, you’re tired of my soppy shit, but I really do.”

“I know. Weallknow, you’re like a pining puppy. It’s both adorable and exhausting. I go between wanting to punch you and hug you – sometimes both at the same time.”

“I appreciate your self-restraint.”

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