Page 51 of Game Changer

She descended the stairs slowly. AJ thought it was perhaps to prolong his torture. Sweat trickled down the back of his neck and his palms were once again sweaty.

What is it with this girl? You’ve never had sweaty palms in your damn life!

“Hi.”

Hi is a start. We can work with ‘hi’.

“Hi,” he replied glumly. “Can we talk?”

Please don’t say no, please don’t say no, please don’t say n–

“Sure,” she replied.

She doesn’t mean that ‘sure’. She really doesn’t want to talk to me.

Crap.

She looks so… hurt.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat as she spoke to her parents, “I’ll be back later. By the way, this is AJ. He’s flown all the way from America because we had a fight, and I’m guessing he wants to apologize for being an arse.”

Before they could answer, she slammed the door behind her, leaving them staring at them, out the window. Taking a deep breath, he led the way down the steps.This is it,he told himself.Make or break.

Make.

It’s got to be make.

“Where to?” he asked quietly when they got in the car. She still wouldn’t look at him directly.

Is there a worse punishment on this planet than not being able to see into your eyes and know what you’re thinking? ‘Cause right now I can’t friggin’ think of it.

“Just drive. I’ll direct you when you get out of here.”

“K.”

She directed him to a secluded area fairly close to her house. The views were breathtaking, and there was no chance they’d be interrupted. It was quiet and serene. He, however, was not. He’d tried a number of times to start a conversation. He’d tried to tell her he was sorry a dozen times along the way, but each time though, she’d just said, “Not yet,” without looking at him.

Is she gearing herself up to scream at you? I think I’d prefer the screaming to this silent treatment. She’s so freakishly calm. How is she so calm? My insides are churning.

He pulled the car into the lane and turned off the ignition. She sat staring out the window, and still wouldn’t look at him. He was struggling.

If you’re going to break up with me, just get it over and done with, ok?

Breathe,he reminded herself.

“I’m so sorry, Lis,” he began. She gave him a dirty look and stayed stubbornly silent.

Tell her the truth. Do it now.

“Britt and I have been best friends for life… you know I was born in the USA but spent most of my childhood in Canada. We were neighbors and I met her on my first day at school. I spilled chocolate milk all over my shirt at lunch, and she happened to have a spare in her backpack. It had a sparkly pink frog on it, I think. I didn’t care and she liked that about me. Anyway, we were immediate best friends. We’ve been side by side ever since. When I moved back home for high school, we were both devastated. We visited each other, turnabout, as often as we could. When I stayed for college at UAH, she was less than thrilled. She wanted to come to the US for college too, not just because of me – I saw that look, Lis – Really, there’s never been anything romantic between us. Honestly, we’re just really good friends.”

He took a breath and continued his explanation. She remained silent, still not meeting his gaze.

“She wanted to be closer to me, sure, but UAH wasn’t the only college she applied to. And despite being so friendly, she’s actually pretty quiet, and keeps to herself. Anyway, so now Britt’s nearly out of school and she’s not a U.S. resident. She can’t live and work permanently in the U.S. where she really wants to be. She’s also my mom’s best friend’s daughter. We get along well. Our personalities clicked from the get-go. We’ve had maybe one actual argument in our entire lives, even though we don’t really have much in common either. We don’t like the same food, the same hobbies, the same music. What is it you always say about you and your sister? Chalk and cheese. We are like chalk and cheese. At the bar one night she got drunk and started crying about how she was staring down the barrel of deportation. One of the team jokingly suggested she and I get hitched to let her stay. She looked so hopeful. She knew I wasn’t really even looking for a girlfriend, and it would obviously just be for a couple years. She never asked me outright, she didn’t have to. She’s my best friend. I’d do anything for her. And you and me? I wasn’t really sure what we were. It never occurred to me I'd develop actual feelings for a girl on the internet. Slap a ring in there and call it love and marriage.

Except it’s not arealmarriage. It’s enough to pull her through until we’re both out of grad school, and, hopefully, enough to convince the government to give her what she needs. Lis, I never set out with the intention of hurting you. I just wanted someone friendly to talk to and maybe even get a little flirty with. I cried on my wedding night because I was falling for you, and I knew that even if things didn’t work out with you, I was going to be trapped in a marriage of convenience for years. It was a huge self-sacrifice, yes. But I also felt there was something potentially serious between you and me and I really wanted the freedom to pursue that. I understand if you never want to talk to me again. Hell, I’d probably never want to talk to me again if I was you. But I needed to explain things to your face. You’re probably sitting there thinking what bullshit I’m spouting, but it’s the truth and it’s all I got. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you, Lisa, but I did. I really didn't think things would ever get so far that I'd need to tell you and then you came to visit and we really hit it off, and I just…I didn't know what to say.”

Breathe, man. BREATHE.

---