Page 56 of Game Changer

“Shit, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“Mhmm.” She nuzzled into him and kissed his neck. “Are you ok? You really don’t seem ok.”

He kissed the top of her head. “I think I’m just sad,” he spoke quietly through her hair. “We’re going back to reality. The reality where I fucked up so badly and now have to live with that life choice. The reality where I’m married to Britt instead of–”

She tilted her head back so she could look in his eyes, “Instead of?”

“Instead of someone I actuallywantto marry, Lis. It’s just been hitting home a lot that this is a shit reality that I landed myself in and I’m stuck here for a while at least. I’ll shake it off I’m sure, but for right now, it just sucks and I’m sad.”

Breathe.

“Oh, Pim!”

“I don’t deserve your sympathy, Lis.”

Pity party of one!

“I can be hurt by your actions and still be sympathetic to your pain. I hate that you’re hurting. I hate that you’re married. But I know we can come through this stronger than ever.”

I hope you’re right.

He pulled her close and kissed her head again.

Just match your breathing to hers. You’ll be fine. You need to chill the hell out or you’ll keep her up for this whole flight!

He eventually fell into a restless sleep, tormented by anxiety and a tightness in his chest. The closer the plane got to his home soil, the more unsettled he became.

You’re really going to have to pull yourself together, or she’s going to leave you.

Chapter 16

“So, how bad was it?” Jeremy asked as they finished up hockey practice for the day.

“It was pretty bad, man. I never want to see her so upset again. It was like she stabbed me in the heart and poured vinegar in the wound.”

“Wow. Talk about dramatic imagery. Especially since you’re the one who fucked up.”

“True. I mean it, though. It was awful. I think I’d prefer having my ass kicked by her dad. Sure, it would have hurt like hell, but it would have healed and been in the past. This – I’m not sure this is fixable. It sure as heck isn’t going to heal as quickly as a few broken bones would. This is deep and ugly and raw.”

“Did you tell her about your bipolar?”

AJ shook his head and looked away. “I couldn’t. Not yet. I will though.”

“You need to, Age.”

“I know. We’re going to the ball tonight. I’m shitting myself that someone’s going to ask about my relationship with Lisa. Or, that I’m not going to be able to contain myself and I’ll have my way with her on one of the tables.”

AJ’s parents had sent AJ their tickets for a fundraiser they were supposed to attend. His mom was on the board of the charity but couldn’t go. She didn’t want to leave empty seats at the table and thought AJ and Lisa would enjoy a glamorous night out.

“Dude! Again with the imagery! So why are you going?”

“’Cause part of me says screw Britt. Part of me wants to get busted with my ‘bit on the side’. But mostly part of me just wants to take my girl for a slap-up meal and some dancing. I’m giving her the necklace tonight.”

“You’re gonna get smacked for ordering a bespoke necklace, you know that, right? Where’d you even get it from? I didn’t even know you could get something like that made. It probably cost a bomb.”

“I know. I left my card for her to go shopping too.”

“Dude. Do you have a death wish?”