Page 77 of Game Changer

“Help!” he called as he frantically tried to pull his arms up.

Wait. The rest of my body is moving. Just my arms ar–he spotted the restraints.Motherfucker, you have got to be kidding me.

“Hey, hey. Easy there, AJ,” his mother’s soft voice soothed. He looked at her as she sat on the bed next to him and stroked his face. She’d clearly been crying; her eyes were red and swollen and her face looked puffy.

I don’t remember the last time I saw her cry. First Jeremy, now Mom!

She was disheveled, not a look he was familiar with seeing on his mother, either.

She’s normally impeccably turned out. She wouldn’t usually go out of the house with a hair out of place, but she looks like what Lisa would call a ‘hot-mess’ right now.

Lisa.

“Sweetheart, please try and stay calm.”

“I’m so scared, Mom. I woke up and couldn’t move and thought I was back there,” he started to cry.

“Oh my sweet boy,” she grabbed his head and pulled it into her chest, shushing him. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now,” her voice shook as she spoke and her chin was quivering noticeably.

“It’s all so confusing. I remember Lisa, clear as day and then I don’t recognize her. My memories blend together and I think I’m in love with Ange and I see the pain in Lisa’s eyes. I just need my brain to figure itself out!”

She’s trying not to cry. Who is this woman and where is my keep-it-together, stiff-upper-lip mother?

“I promise you it’s all going to be ok though, you hear me? Youwillget through this. We areallhere for you. We all love you. We know we can’t do much but stand at the sidelines and watch you make your way through this yourself, but, we’re here. Ok?”

“Mom?” AJ began through his tears, “What if it never comes back? What if my memory stays like a dandelion clock scattered in the wind?”

For the love of god can we stop with the memory metaphors? You’re even boring yourself at this point. Easy, AJ. Just breathe.

“Then we’ll figure that out together, ok? You’re not alone.”

“I feel so alone.”

“I know you do, AJ. I know you do,” she soothed. “But you’re not alone, we are here. We are all with you.”

“I can’t control my emotions or my memories. One minute I’m fine, I know who you all are, I know where I am and why. I know the white room was a coma room and I know what happened to me. And the next I’m lashing out and angry. I think I hit someone earlier, my hand aches and I don’t remember what happened. I don’t really understand why I’m restrained either. Memories flash through my head and I don’t know where they belong in the timeline of my life. I’m all messed up and it’s scary as hell, mom. What if I’m broken, forever?”

“Oh, love. There’s a chance this may be how things are now, AJ. It’s true. The doctors don’t know how much of this damage to your brain is permanent. But they’re cautiously optimistic, and we’re all hopeful that you’re improving. Every single day you’re getting a little better.”

“I’m so sorry, Mom,” he whispered against her chest.

She sat him back a little and looked at him confused. “Sorry? What are you sorry for?”

“You’re missing work,” his voice was low and shaking. “You’re here, taking care of me when you’re supposed to be doing something. I know how busy you are. Both of you. I feel like such a burden right now and I’m so sorry for dragging you both down here and being a complete clusterfuck.”

“AJ Williams, that’s enough,” she said sternly. “I won’t hear another word of that crap.”

Did she just say crap? When was the last time she said crap? I have no friggin’ idea. Who IS this woman?

“You are my son and I love you. You and your sister are the most important things in my life, with your father – of course. I know it doesn’t always seem like it, I know you think me some heartless ice queen, but it’s true. You’re my entire world, AJ,” her voice wavered. “I thought I’d lost you this time,” she whimpered and pulled him back against her chest. “I thought you’d never wake up. I was truly starting to lose hope. I don’t know how Lisa kept her faith, for a minute I honestly thought I was going to have to bury my firstborn,” she shivered. “Anyway,” she straightened a little and sniffed. “No more apologies, you hear me? I am exactly where I need to be. The world keeps turning. My world wouldn’t keep turning if you weren’t in it.”

I don’t remember the last time I cuddled with my mom.

He fell asleep against his mother’s chest, listening to her heartbeat.

***

He watched the door open and Lisa’s head poked around. Her face grew pale and concerned as she got closer to his bed and saw the restraints.

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