Page 92 of Game Changer

She’s taking so many pictures!he thought as they strolled.You’ve taken this place for granted, it’s all new to her. Bright, colorful and I bet she doesn’t see turtles in her backyard in Ireland.

Every few minutes she’d take a selfie of the two of them, or snap pictures of AJ when she thought he wasn’t looking. Realization struck.

Memories. Just in case.

He pulled her close and buried his nose in her hair. It smelled of strawberries. He kissed her and whispered, “I really am ok now, Lis. I’m not going anywhere, ok?”

She nodded, but he could tell she was struggling. He kissed her and held her chin ‘til she met his gaze. “I love you,” he told her sincerely. Her eyes filled with tears as she returned the sentiment. “I’m not going to die on you, Lis.”

“You can’t promise that, AJ,” she whispered as he kissed her forehead and pulled her close.

“I know it’s scary, but we just have to enjoy living in the now, ok? We can’t live each moment afraid that it’ll be the last. We’ll go insane.”

“I know. I’m trying,” she sighed. “It’s just not always easy.”

I know, babe. Believe me, I know. I dunno what I’d do if I lost you.

***

That evening, they enjoyed take out, cheesy movies and junk food. They enjoyed each other’s company and chilled out, just the two of them.

No doctors, no nurses, no machines. Just us. Not even a Jeremy to burst in and annoy us…

As they sat quietly, Lisa let out a huge sigh. “What’s on your mind, babe?” he asked.

“It’s the first week of April,” she replied.

“I know. I didn’t hit my head that hard.”

She elbowed his ribs lightly and continued, “You kinda did though! I have to go home soon. I’ve already stayed longer than I intended. Playing hooky kinda took a turn. I know I got permission from the university and all, but I have stuff to deal with, like finishing up my degree, paying bills and finding a grown-up job.” She sighed again. “But I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you. I’m afraid something else is going to happen and I’m going to lose you. I don’t want to wake up and not be able to hear your voice, or see your face.”

I don’t want you to go either.He swallowed hard, fighting the urge to cry.I don’t want you to go at all.

“That’s understandable. The last couple weeks can’t have been easy for you.”

She laughed a humorless laugh. “Isn’tthatthe understatement of the century?”

“Sorry,” he started. “I know I don’t really know what it was like for you. We can talk about it you know? Assuming you evenwantto talk about it.” He paused again and kissed her forehead.

“My memory is still kinda blurry in parts, especially leading up to the accident,” he continued. “But I can guess it was far from pleasant. And I honestly don’t know what I’d have been like if it had been you lying there on that bed. I don’t know if I could have kept my shit together.”

I’d have either hit a manic episode and run on overdrive, or I’d have been a depressive puddle in the corner. I don’t think there’d have been much of a middle ground.

“You would have done just fine,” she told him. “If someone had asked me how I’d deal with it before it happened, I would have said that I wouldn’t have dealt with it at all. I’d have guessed complete and utter meltdown and inability to function and perform the simplest of tasks. In many ways, that’s actually what happened. I mean, I managed, don’t get me wrong. I had my moments, but I pushed through. I tried to stay positive as best I could. But man, it was so hard. The thought of never having you wake up again? Of never being able to talk to you, or see your smile, or hear your voice? Not knowing if you even know how I truly feel about you, or–” her voice broke and she was suddenly crying. “And now you’re awake, and I have to go home soon, and it royally sucks.”

It does suck, yes. Distance may help me feel less of an absolute asshole for being married to someone else when I want to be married to you, though.Guilt struck him.Ok, that’s probably bullshit. I’m probably grasping at straws to try and make myself feel better. I don’t think it’s working.

“Hey, hey. It’s ok,” he soothed. But it really wasn’t and they both knew it.

***

Turns out, seven days isn’t very long at all,he thought as he stood facing the airport with Lisa and Jeremy.

She’d sat pretty much in silence all the way to the airport.

I’m not used to you being so damn quiet, Lis. My heart’s breaking here. I can’t fix this. I’d love to just propose and convince you to move here, have a shot-gun wedding and live with me forever.

Woah. Really?

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