Page 97 of Game Changer

Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy.

“Uhm. I’m gonna go right ahead with a ‘no’ there,” he laughed. “Well, I miss you,” he told her. “I have no one here to look after me and play nurse.”

“Aw. Poor baby. It’s only what? A couple months ‘til you get me again?”

“I’m counting the days,”

“Dork,” she paused. “I am too. But really, you need sleep. Go!”

“Yes ma’am,” he mumbled through a yawn.

“Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too, babe. Sweet dreams.”

“Love you,” Jeremy mocked, pretending to kiss an invisible person.

“Dude. Are you hot for her?”

“For who? This imaginary person I’m grindin’ up on? No, AJ. I like my women much more… fleshy. And, y’know, real.”

“Lisa.” AJ struggled to keep his voice steady.

“Wait, what? Are you kidding right now Age? ‘Cause I can’t tell if you’re kidding or not.” He regarded his friend suspiciously for a moment. “You know, I honestly don’t think you’re kidding right now.”

AJ remained silent, “That’s not an answer.”

“AJ! I don’t need to answer! Geez! The answer is an overwhelming ‘no’. I don’t want her, I don’t have feelings for her, and I didn’t try it on with her while you were unconscious. Ok? Jesus. I know things are a bit fucked up now you’re awake but nothing’s changed. Lisa and I are friends, in some moments I’d go so far as to say I’m starting to see her as a little sister. I feel protective of her and she drives me absolutely friggin’ mad, but I don’t want to bed her. I’m not attracted to her. Do I flirt? Probably. But I flirt with my own reflection – that’s just who I am. But I would never… and what’s more, you know that.”

AJ sighed and finished his milk. “I know. I’m sorry. I just – I dunno what I just, but I just felt –”

“I know, man. It’s ok. I’m glad you brought it up and didn’t let it fester in your mind. I swear nothing is, was or ever will be going on between Lisa and me. I’ll stop talking to her if you want?”

“No, no. Don’t do that. I know I’m being irrational. I’m just a bit shaky that’s all. Insecure, I guess. It’ll pass. I’m sorry, Jer.”

“It’s ok, dude. I still love ya.”

Accusing your best friend of banging your girlfriend. Way to go AJ, you’ve reached a new low.

Chapter 30

The countdown was on. He could see the Ireland trip on the horizon. He just had to get there. Then he could hold her in his arms and breathe in her strawberry shampoo and know that things between them were ok.

Since she’d left, he’d suffered terribly with anxiety. He questioned everything. He second-guessed himself and spent his time looking over what she said to him in messages and emails for alternative meanings. He was convinced she was going to leave him. He felt as though he hadn’t properly relaxed since she left and he knew for certain he hadn’t gotten a full night sleep under his belt, either.

School, hockey, yoga, repeat.

It was more watching hockey than playing, as he was definitely not doing anyactual,full-contacthockey as he had a long road to recovery ahead of him. He had to settle for occasional short skates on the ice and the odd shot against Duzzi between the pipes. It frustrated him, but he knew that if he was going to get back to where he was before his coma and brain injury, he needed to be patient with himself.

That’s what his life had become since she left. Once he was fit enough to go back to school, he had thrown himself into playing catch-up with his work, then slowly introducing exercise back into his life.

He was tempted to get right back on the ice and spend some quality time with himself. But, he knew that if he even so much as tripped over his own skate – both Lisa and Jeremy, would kick his ass.

And you’d deserve it.

He’d made a promise to her that he wouldn’t rush his recovery. He’d do what he had to do, however slowly he had to do it. But it was hard. And frustrating. When depression crept back into his life, normally, the easiest way to combat it was to go for a run or to have it out on the ice. He couldn’t do that this time. He would only end up in a worse place, physically, and mentally. He was never great at accepting his own limitations. He knew full well that if he got on the ice he’d be pissed at himself for not being able to accomplish what he’d expected to. In turn, that would drive him deeper into the darkness. He’d opted for accepting his limits, being self-aware and avoiding that slippery slope deeper into the depressive abyss.

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