Page 57 of Four Letter Feelings

“Dude, I’m not your secretary.”

“You love it. Count me in! Though now I gotta go find something to give her that’ll top the best book of the year. You shoulda heard her, Pim. I’ve never heard someone so excited about a goddamn book before. At one point, I think only dogs could hear her.”

AJ chuckled. “Yeah, Ana really loves her, too. I dunno what it is about her books, but Ana doesn’t sleep ‘til she’s read them.”

“I hear that’s going around,” Jeremy answered, shaking his head.

***

“Feel like I haven’t seen you in a while, man,” Jeremy started cautiously. He felt like AJ was struggling lately, but maybe he was just imagining it. He seemed ok on the surface, but every now and then Jeremy felt as though AJ didn’t have his shit together quite as well as he wanted the world to believe. “You don’t call, you don’t write.” He slid an egg out of the pan onto AJ’s plate. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” AJ answered, sounding not at all convincing. “I’m good, for the most part.” He poked at the egg with his fork and wouldn’t meet Jeremy’s inquiring gaze.

“Wanna talk about the other part?”

“Nah, Jer. I’m good. Really.” He glanced up, briefly, quickly casting his eyes back towards his plate.

“You sure? I’m a great listener, man and you know I got you if you need me, right? I’m here.”

Jeremy placed the pan into the soapy water, sat across the table from AJ, his plate piled-high with food and tucked in.

“Look, Pim. I feel like you’re not ok right now, and I don’t know what to do to help you, or to make things better. You’re distant and I’m worried about you.”

Understatement of the century, Jer. You already went and put a ‘worst case scenario’ plan in place in case he ever hurt himself. I’d say that’s a bit beyond worried about him.

“You know I’m here for you, right? 'Cause I am. If you need anything, you just tell me, ok?”

Jeremy spoke between bites, the silent resignation emanating from his friend was concerning.

“I’m ok, Jer. Really. I appreciate the concern, man. But I got this. It’s just a dip. It’s under control. You have nothing to worry about, ok?” He met Jeremy’s eyes and Jeremy could see pain, but he also saw resolve. He knew he had to trust his friend knew his limits and would reach out if he needed help.

He nodded. “Ok, well, the offer’s there if you need it.”

I feel like you might need it right now, Pim. I don’t know what your ‘just a dip’ looks like. Going out on a limb and trusting you here, man. I hope to fuck I’m not wrong.

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