Page 13 of Riding the Pine

Her mom’s pacing back and forward in front of the fireplace in the formal living room, chatting to someone on the phone in Spanish, animatedly waving her free hand as she moves.

Athena has very strong fuck-all-the-way-off-and-leave-me-alone vibes tonight, so I go in search of her brothers. They aren’t in the usual places: their bedrooms, the game room, the cinema room, I’m coming up empty, striking out across the board. But eventually raised voices from their dad’s office tell me they may be in the one room of the house I haven’t yet been inside.

I figure I’ll wait at the top of the stairs, close enough that they’ll see me when they come out, close enough that I can hear what’s being said through the crack in the open door, but not close enough to be accused of snooping, or eavesdropping.

“Okay, but what about Scott?” Sounds like Ares, but there’s a heavy exasperation in his voice that suggests this might not be the first time he’s said it. Ares, the youngest of the four de la Peña siblings, is often talked over, or dismissed, which he fuckingloves. Not.

Señor de la Peña snorts like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. “I’m not having my daughter taken to her senior prom by a fucking farm boy, Ares, don’t be so fucking stupid.”

With one sentence, every core fear about myself bellows inside my head making my gut hurt and my limbs weak. Just a farm boy. I’d love to say that Mr. de la Peña’s throw away comment, clearly intended to shut Ares up, was the first time I’ve given voice to his thoughts, but it isn’t.

At this stage, as much as I cling to it like a shield, it’s not even her brothers keeping me from asking her out on a date. I mean, for a while there Idefinitelythought they’d kick my ass. She may be the big sister, but those three guys would scorch the earth for her. As she would for them.

They have the tightest sibling bonds I’ve ever seen, and I don’t think that’s because I’m an only child, but maybe?

They’re ride-or-die level close.

And I guess if I went behind their backs and lied to them about trying something on with Athena or something they’d most definitely and legitimately be pissed at me. But I’d like to think they know me well enough to know I’d never intentionally hurt their sister.

And that bro code shit? Well, we’ve all seen some of the assholes Athena has dated over the time I’ve known her. And if they don’t rate me above some of those douchebags… I’m not sure I want to be friends with them.

Someone, maybe Apollo tries to speak up, but Señor de la Peña is off on a rampage about how that piece of shit dares to stand up his daughter on the night of her senior prom. My heart sinks. Then white-hot rage surges through my body. I barely resist the urge to punch their very,verywhite walls.

Snagging a beat to try to calm the fuck down, I send some shaky breath into my lungs so I don’t go out on some crackerjack mission to beat the shit out of the guy who made her sad. As angry as I am, this isn’t about me, it’s about Athena. She’s dressed up so nicely downstairs, and that dismayed look on her face flickers in my mind.

Her dad’s right, I’mnotgood enough for her. When we first met, I thought I could shoot my shot, that it didn’t matter, that she’d love me for who I am, and I’d be enough. But I’m nowhere near her league. When you peel it all back, that’s why I’ve never made a move on her. Maybe it’s even why I shut her down in the car that time we almost kissed.

I flip-flop back and forth on that moment. Sometimes I beat myself over the head for not just going for it, for laying it all out in the frigid cold between us and letting fate decide.

I spend days wondering what would have happened if I’d let myself lean in just a fraction of an inch more. Most of the time,though, I remind myself she deserves way better than I can give her.

Story of my life.

Farm boy from rural Iowa from a family of crooks and drunks. It’s kind of amazing their parents let me anywhere near them, or that the boys even want to be my friend. I’m not in their league either. If they wanted to keep me away from their sister, I’d totally understand it.

Athena de la Peña deserves the world. She deserves someone who can hang the moon and rearrange the stars, someone who can afford to treat her like the goddess she is, who can buy her everything her heart desires. And who can love her so fucking hard she never ever needs to question it.

But sometimes love alone just isn’t enough, and right now, that’s all I could give her. A tight pain stretches my chest making it hard to breathe. It’s not the first time I’ve had this realization. I generally don’t like to wallow or be self-indulgent.

Boy loves girl, girl’s waaaaay out of boy’s league, boy pines for girl for all eternity.

It’s the love story of the ages, and unless I graduate college, or get into the NHL, or do… something, anything of worth to earn a good living so I can provide for her, I can never take my shot.

Okay, well, maybe not provide for her because she’s so fucking independent—and let’s not forget completely loaded—she’d probably try to break my finger if I were to offer to even buy her a coffee.

But this isn’t a coffee, and it’s not forever. It’s not me taking my shot with her either, it’s stepping up, stepping into a space a cowardly fuck left open on a night that is clearly very important to her.

I give my head a shake, suck in a deep breath through my nose and head back down the stairs to ask the eldest de la Peña sister to prom.

By the time I get to the bottom of the stairs, Athena’s no longer there. It’s no surprise her brothers are so fit, the grand staircase alone is enough to have my leg muscles starting to burn by the time I get to the bottom.

Athena’s in the living room pacing where her mom was when I arrived, but Gabriella is nowhere to be seen.

“Hey.” I stay in the doorway but stand with my back against the door leaving space. One thing I’ve learned with the de la Peña kids is that they hate feeling like they’re trapped or caged. They react kind of how I think a wild animal would react in the same situation. “Wanna talk about it?”

She snorts, sweeping a hand toward the house past me. “You heard just like I did. Poor little Athena got ditched by her prom date.”

She’s not sad anymore. She’s livid. Sparks of anger bounce from her body, and if I get too close, we’re both going to burn.

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