Page 14 of Riding the Pine

“I’m sure your brothers have tuxes?—”

She doesn’t let me finish before she snickers my direction. “You want me to commit social suicide and be the girl who took her fucking brother to senior prom?” Her eyes are wide, plump, red lips, matching her dress, slightly parted.

Shaking my head, I hold my hands up in front of my chest. “No, that’s not what I’m saying.” I swallow down the lump of doubt in the back of my throat. “I can take you, Bright Eyes.”

My stomach tightens, my heart beats so loud and fast it’s ringing in my ears, and my leg starts to shake.

A blast of emotions flicker across her face one at a time: surprise, confusion, understanding, contemplation, determination, and a handful I can’t place. She doesn’t sayanything for a long moment, instead, she breathes heavily through flared nostrils like she’s weighing up her options.

I’m sure one of the guys would loan me their tux to rescue their sister from the embarrassment of the school seeing her turn up to the prom without a date.

The moment stretches out between us, and I hold my breath. Technically I’ve asked her out to prom, it’s as close to a date as I’ve ever dared stray, even if it is to help her out of this situation.

Will she dare say yes?

She doesn’t. Her face hardens as she shakes her head. “I can’t.”

My heart and stomach free fall to the floor, the hope holding them in my chest being snapped like a crunchy cookie.

I don’t blame her. If I was her, I wouldn’t want to take me to prom either.

“Thanks for the offer.” She gives me a smile dripping with sympathy. “But I don’t want… I don’t think…” She sucks in a sharp breath. “I think I need to do this by myself.”

Anything else she says falls on deaf ears. The woman I’m head-over-heels in love with would rather go to her senior prom alone than for me to be by her side.

I guess that says it all really, doesn’t it?

CHAPTER 8

Athena

SEPTEMBER 2020

Aweird, fluttery feeling settled in my stomach this morning when I left my apartment.

My apartment.

Even that sounds too grownup for where I’m at. But it’s true. I picked up the keys last month, and as of a few days ago, and many thanks to my brothers and some of their high school teammates, I’m all moved in. I need to do a little shopping; my meager belongings don’t take up much space in my home in downtown Cedar Rapids.

Papá insisted on buying me a place of my very own before heading off to college. He claims his father did it for him. Of course, I insisted on buying the place for myself, which I guess made him somehow even prouder at my first, major financial investment.

Despite being eighteen years old and owning my first house, stepping out into the big bad world by my big girl self is kind of scary. Most of my friends from high school weren’t really my friends, and the two people I know coming to the University of Cedar Rapids this semester are doing something… sciencey.

It’s strange being the only de la Peña here, which in itself is weird, right? I’m the oldest of the four, which means I’mgenerally the first to do damn near everything. But this… this feels like something else, something big, maybe even bigger than me.

A lump forms in my chest, and I rub it with a closed fist, but the fear doesn’t leave. Going to college is pretty much a rite of passage in my family. It wasn’t offered as an option, it was assumed as a goal, and now I’m here, I feel all kinds of lost. Another feeling I’m not accustomed to.

Same me, same town, but existing in a new place. Alone. It’s totally weird sleeping in a building where my brothers aren’t arguing and play fighting down the hall, and Papá isn’t yelling down the phone at some asshole businessman he’s threatening to destroy.

I’m not sure who I am outside the shadow of my family, but I suppose it’s time to find out?

That starts right inside the building I’m standing outside. It’s a kitschy little café called Bitches Brew, it’s painted bright pink, like everywhere inside and is sending good vibes my way.

I could use a little pick me up, a shot of caffeine to get the college student juices flowing. As I step inside, a warm cloud of coffee laced heat hits me in the face. September in Iowa isn’t exactly warm and toasty. As much as I love fall, there’s nothing worse than being cold, especially in a coffee shop with a hot pink bicycle hung on the wall.

The menu’s overwhelming, it has a list of famous people and fancy, frou-frou drinks that all have my mouth watering and my stomach grumbling. The Ariana Grande looks good, though I’ll get it with an extra shot because I can already feel like it’s going to be one of those days. And a slice of quiche because my grumbling stomach reminds me that despite officially being a grown up, I haven’t yet eaten today and it’s almost eleven.

Being a grownup isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Getting myself out of bed on time for school was always a talent of mine, I’m upwith the birds, but feeding myself on a schedule seems to be a step too far.