Page 26 of Riding the Pine

August lets out a low whistle, his attention caught on two girls sitting at a nearby table. They’re sharing an intimate moment, their noses brushing against each other’s before the blonde tilts her head to the side and kisses… fuck. My heart speeds up. She’s kissing Athena.

Instead of a rush of jealousy, heat sears my entire body. My dick starts getting hard, because seeing the relaxed smile on her face, the casual posture of her body, and the way she sweeps her date’s hair behind her ear before kissing her, has my breath caught somewhere inside my chest.

The more I stare the more turned on I get, and the more aware I become of the rest of my teammates staring at her as well, so I usher them forward to our regular table.

“I don’t know if I could do that, man.” August shakes his head as he slides onto a seat.

“Do what?” I’m genuinely curious to know what is going on in his brain right now.

“Be with someone who’s bi. Like, how would you ever know you’re enough for them? How could you be sure that they wouldn’t cheat on you with a chick because they had something you couldn’t give them?”

My blood surges, rushing to the skin and making my body hotter still. I clench my fist, but Artemis covers my hand with his as he sits next to me. “Easy, hermano.”

Something about the way he saysbrotherlands differently to how it usually does. Again, probably in my own mind, probably me being overly sensitive to things with the de la Peñas following my naked moment with their sister.

Justin thumps Gus’s shoulder. “Stop being an asshole, asshole. Someone who’s bi isn’tmorelikely to cheat on you simply because they’re bi. Every sexuality has its fair share of assholes, being one way or the other doesn’t dictate that.”

Heads around the table nod in agreement.

“And if you don’t feel enough, that’s a you problem, not your partner’s problem. If you don’t feel enough with someone bi, you likely won’t feel like enough with anyone.” Justin shrugs like it’s common sense, and Gus takes a solemn interest in the cardboard coaster on the table in front of him as we wait for our drinks.

“Plus.” I sneak a glance at Athena who is completely taken by the woman across the table from her, who is now chatting with animated hands as Athena listens intently. “If there wassomething she needed that I couldn’t give her.” I shrug. “Then I’d just let her find it.” All eyes are heavy on me around the table.

“Whoever she may be.” I clear my throat, acutely aware of the weight of the twins stares on my face.

Gus speaks first. “You’d just… share her? With… what? One other woman? Multiple? Where’s the line? What if she wanted another guy? Would you let her fuck around? An open relationship?” He accepts a beer from the server, as the oldest player on the team, he’s legal.

I resist the burning urge to stare back at Athena while I mull his question, cradling a glass of soda before taking a glug. I buy a few more seconds by wiping the back of my hand across my mouth. “I’d rather have someone I love some of the time and see her happy, than have her none of the time because she’s with someone else who can give her what I can’t. If my partner wants to have another dick in the bedroom…”

I shrug. “I can’t grow another one. And you better believe I want her to be satiated. Why wouldn’t I bring in another guy to help satisfy her?” I take another drink. “And as for women in our relationship, I dunno. I’d love to be a part of it, not to have two women pleasing me in the bedroom.” I swallow hard, like the words are getting tougher to force out of my body.

“But the idea of having help to drive my partner wild with pleasure? Knowing I’d get to hold her all night long when we’re done?” My thumb catches some droplets of condensation on the glass between my hands. “There’s something hot as fuck about that. If she needs more than me in bed to be happy, then, depending on the woman, I’m pretty sure I’d figure out a way to be okay with that.”

My friends all stare at me like I’ve grown an extra eyeball while sitting in front of them.

“So… poly?” Justin tries to clarify. “Or just an extra mouth and hands in the bedroom, like, uh.” He tilts his head, searching for the words.

“A human dildo?” Adds Gus.

The twins’ silence is deafening, and I still haven’t risked so much as a glance in their direction to read what their faces might be saying. In truth, I’m an absolute chickenshit. I’m scared they may see right through what I’m saying, that I’d set myself on fire for their sister and still feel like I wouldn’t deserve to have her even piss on me to put it out.

Or worse, that they may confirm my deepest insecurities, that they agree I’m not good enough for their sister. Right now, I can claim ignorance, I can pretend my feelings don’t exist, her brothers would totally be onside if I opened my mouth and told her how I feel, because if they weren’t, I think that might crush me damn near as badly as if she rejected me.

So I’ll live here, trapped in my fear spiral, pretending I don’t love their sister, pretending I can maybe graduate college, get a good job that’s at least stable if nothing else, and someday be half the man she deserves from a partner by her side. All the while believing that even if I get a job in the NHL, playing for the top league in the country, I’m still a small-town farm boy from rural Iowa. There’ll never be anything I can do to earn the right to call that woman mine.

Everyone’s still waiting for my answer, and the truth is, I don’t know that I have one. “I don’t think I’d enjoy a poly relationship.” I flash a goofy grin.

“I’m too needy. I’d be afraid they loved someone more than me. But for the right person, I think I’d at least try. As far as human dildos in the bedroom, I’m absolutely down for that. If my girl wants to be triple stuffed by cocks and have cum oozing from her every hole as she’s fucked into oblivion, who am I to say no to that?”

The silence around the table is strange, strained. I’m not sure if everyone’s thinking about gangbanging their partner or thinking shitty things about my open mindedness about sex, or if the twins are now unwillingly imagining me and a group of guys railing their sister. Either way, shit’s heavy, and weird, and part of me wants to collect all the words I just let escape from my pie-hole and shovel them all back inside.

After what feels like a safe length of time, I allow myself a glimpse of Athena. Her bright eyes glisten beneath the overhead lights as her date clasps Athena’s hand between both of hers. She’s stroking Bright Eye’s hand as she sips what looks to be Sprite with her free hand.

The more I stare at her the more it affirms what I said to the guys, no matter what she wanted from me, I’d give it if I had to give. Especially if she’d look at me the way she looks at her date.

I swallow hard, dragging my attention back from my best friends’ sister, feeling a tingling on the side of my face. Someone’s busted me staring at her for just a moment too long. I can’t help it, she’s so fucking easy to stare at.

It’s Apollo’s eyes I meet when I focus back on the table.

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