Page 11 of Bring You Back

He explains, “I’ve tried keeping tabs on you after you left, here and there. Since we stopped hearing from you,” he adds with a hint of resentment. “Making sure you were still alive.”

We both laugh at that one, mine more bitter than sweet. “One of us is.”

Tommy watches me a long moment, then finally asks, “How are you holding up?”

“By my feet,” I say with a sarcastic smile.

“Ha,” he draws out, then laughs before making a face. “Thanks for that image.”

I think of the same image, then see Reyna painting a pair of feet that are holding up anything they can grasp. I see her giving it to Tommy as a gift. That’s something she would do. She has an entire collection of paintings and drawings of all our inside jokes.

I point at Grumbles. “I got a cat.”

“Who’s in the wrong season,” Tommy declares with a bop to her nose that she doesn’t take too well. We laugh at the dirty look she shoots him over her smacking lips and he holds his hands up in apology. “She’s a Halloween cat,” he says of her black fur and yellow eyes. “What’s her name?”

I hesitate, realizing I’ve never said her name out loud, not even to her. “Grumbles.”

The admission of her name sobers me, and I move on.

“And I came back to a place where almost everyone hates me,” I say, adding to the list of ways I’mholding up.

“Nobody hates you.” I give Tommy a disbelieving look that he won’t accept. “They’re just going through something, too.”

Talk to Julian.“Yeah,” I mutter.

I feel dirty and tired, and in need of some space. I gather my duffel, along with the carrier, and head for the hall. Tommy lets me go. He doesn’t ask me why I stopped calling, why my messages trickled out until theirs did, too. For that, I’m thankful. I wouldn’t have a real answer. At least not one that would make sense to anyone but a Godfrey. Or to anyone who hasn’t left this town.

“Welcome back.”

I turn to him with a chuckle, duffel and carrier bouncing against my legs. “Jeez, Tommy. Try not to sound so stoic.”

He smiles and casts a brief glance over at Grumbles who has forsaken the water for the fleece. “I am glad you’re back.”

“Considering you’ve been spending my absencespyingon me. . .” I tease, then smile. “I’m glad I’m back, too.”

I have a fleeting thought that I never should have left.

“It’s Julian,” he says to my back, and I turn around again. His eyes are on my cat. I stay put, keeping my stare on him until he finds mine. “The guy Reyna’s seeing.” He says it through a sigh, like it pains him to admit, for himself and for me. He tries not to take sides. He tries to be there for all of us while also steering clear of the drama. And we had it—drama. Still do.

I’m laughing. I’m cracking up so much that I almost drop my things. This is the hardest I’ve laughed in thirty days. I didn’t think I could or would laugh like this again until I gave in to the pull of this place. I didn’t think the ability would come again, and Ineverthought it would hurt.

Julian and Reyna? Together? He wouldn’t hurt Tommy like that. He wouldn’t lead Reyna on.There’s no way he has feelings for her.I can’t fathom what he’s thinking, the damage he’s causing.

My brain cycles through excuses, reasons. It’s the grief. Grief changes a person. He’s not himself, he can’t be.

Tommy stands in place, having no idea what to do with me. He’s said what he needs to, and I can’t get a word out. My mouth is too dry, the taste too bitter.

I laugh all the way to the guest room.

This complicates things further.

For me, and for Reyna.

What the hell are you doing, Julian?

4

I’m Not Okay