Page 157 of Bring You Back

“Nothing,” I say, my eyes snapping up to her troubled stare, before retracting. Somethingishappening to her. And I can only sum it up with one lame word. “Life.”

Life.As beautiful as she’s always believed it to be, it messes us up, pushes us around. Reyna’s been pushed, then pushed again, then pushed again, and she’s shaken. Fighting to still see the beauty.

A fight I’ve been facing myself.

“Did you know about Julian?” she asks suddenly. “And about them?”

I’m nodding before she finishes questioning me, having been waiting for her to ask, practicing the right speech to give, but I still don’t have it. Because I’ve never needed one. I’ve never had to explain myself like this. I’ve never needed to make myself sound better than I am.

We’veallmessed up. And she’s seeing that now.

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“You were happy,” I stumble out, knowing it’s shit.

“Not really,” she counters, pointed.

“You wanted him, Reyna,” I say next with a sigh. “He’s always been what you wanted, and I didn’t want to take that away.” Then I add, lamely, “I didn’t want to be the guy who hurt you,” on the heels of my acknowledging I unintentionally have. It wasn’t direct, but I played a part. I’m not completely off the hook.

I lied to her, plain and simple. About something big, something I knew wouldn’t have a good outcome. I’ve risked losing her, I’ve pushed her away.

I wanted Julian to mess up on his own, to move aside so Reyna could see me on her own. But how do I say that without showing myself?

I shake my head as I shift back against the wall, my eyes turned up toward the shadowed roof. “But yeah, I know,” I mutter. “I’m sorry.”

“You should’ve said something.” Her words are grasping, laced with disappointment in me. Disappointment I deserve, but shecan’tlet me go. I have to be able to fix this.

I shift to face her again, shaming myself for having turned away, my desperation showing through my promise. “I’m not gonna make that mistake again.”

She looks away now, slips away as she stares down at the floor. “Neither am I.” She stands and my heart kicks in my chest as I reach out, my fingers only grazing the side of her dress as she steps away from my grasp.

“Reyna—”

“Can you bring her cat back to them?” she says once she’s looking down at me, but I’m standing to meet her, to stop her, to stop this. “I don’t wanna see them.”

“Yeah,” I manage, half in a daze I shake off once she’s moving to the door.“Reyna,” I try again, following after her, and she stops, but my voice isn’t enough to make her turn around.

I’m not enough.

I stop at her back, my hand clasping her wrist. I slide my hand down to her open palm, the tips of my fingers grazing a patch of dried paint smeared to her skin. She doesn’t react, her grip staying loose in mine, and my panic pegs.

But I’m constant. I’m here.

My voice is stressed, but soft and determined as I say, “I’ll do anything to fix this.”

Waves crash against the cliff, a loudwhooshthat almost drowns me out. Reyna’s fingers stay limp in mine, but I’m not letting her go. I’m not letting her think I’m giving up, or giving in. I hold her and I wait, my body antsy, my heart thumping louder with each passing second, wishing for her fingers to give to mine, for her to give me the chance.

This isReyna. I don’t give a damn what Julian says, it’s still her. And sheknowsme. I’ll do anything for her. She knows I have. I’m not the worst. Shehasto give me the chance.

Her fingers bend. I feel the stretch, but then they relax, hang loose again before they can touch mine. She’s resisting, surrendering to everyone’s words that are tearing her down, on repeat in her head.

A rasping meow bounces off the walls, cementing us deeper to where we are.

To where Reyna is now.

“You can’t,” she whispers with defeat and resolve in her voice as she pulls her hand from mine.

I’m holding a breath when she walks away, taking my light and my heart with her.

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