She plays along. “Hey, Scarecrow.”
He points at his hair with a beam of pride. “Because of my spikes, right?”
She nods. “Yep.”
“And the no brain,” I add. Tommy and Reyna snicker, but one doesn’t reach Julian. At least not from his mouth. I see his stomach muscles jerk under his shirt, the tension in his jaw. He’s laughing on the inside.
“I kinda missed that,” Reyna admits with a gesture between me and Banks.
“I didn’t,” we say at the same time, and Banks points at me.
“Jinx! You owe me a beer.”
“Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” I deadpan. Good enough for him, because he moves on to Julian, smacking him in the arm.
“Tell her what?” he repeats. The rest of us catch eyes, a quick scanning of faces wondering who should speak. Which piece to tell. I’m of the mind that Banks never needs to know anything, so I bow out by shoveling more biscuits and gravy into my mouth. Reyna decides for everyone, being the no boundaries girl that she is, and gestures to the boy at her side.
“His dad’s not really his dad, his mom—”
“Reyna.” Julian cuts her off before she can say the rest.
“He’s gonna find out eventually.”
“So let him find out eventually.”
She reaches for him, but he brushes her off. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“If we’re letting our secrets go, what’s yours?” Julian fires at me, and I swallow a chunk of biscuit with a tight throat. Caleb’s death isn’t asecret, and Julian knows that. He’s trying to rile me, to piss me off enough so I’ll say the words.Caleb’s dead.I realize I have yet to say them out loud, and Julian’s stare tells me he knows. He’s encouraging and deflecting, half trying to help, half trying to shift the spotlight.
It’s concern disguised as assholery, and I refuse to appeal to either.Thanks for caring, but also, fuck you.
I can say my brother is dead. I just haven’t.
Tommy does it for me. “Caleb died last month.” His voice is too soft, too low. I want his voice to be louder, harsher with the words. I clear my throat to feel a slight burn, anything rough.
“Caleb’s dead?” Reyna breathes at the same time Julian asserts that, “No oneis staying here.” He divides a pointed look between me and Banks, then stalks to the hall. A door slams a moment later.
“Well shit,” Banks says, in clear reference to the news of my brother and not to Julian’s parting statement since he then wanders through the living room to make himself at home in the other guest room.
Reyna rushes toward me. “Camille, I’m—”
I hold up my hand and she halts. “It’s okay.”
Her distressed gape closes with a huff. “Right. Everything is just A-OK.”
It will be once people stop bringing up Caleb. I’m trying to be happy. I’m trying to have my old life back. I’m trying to breathe again.
And now that everyone knows, we can move on.
Reyna stops beside Tommy who has preoccupied himself with his eggs Benedict, and she eyes me with worry, but doesn’t press for more. “I’m really sorry.” Her hand twitches like she wants to reach for mine. She likes touch. But I basically blew off her concern, and it’s been a while.
I say a simple, “Thanks.” Too soft, too low.
“So. . .” she starts next with a hesitant smile. Whatever she’s about to say to me makes her happy, so she can’t contain the words even if they might bother me. Orhurt my feelings,since I have a strong hunch about what they are. “You know that me and Julian are. . .”
. . .are what?I wait for her to find the rest.
She doesn’t. She can’t. She doesn’t even know what her and Julian are. Which means he doesn’t, either.