Page 22 of Bring You Back

“You kind of are,” Tommy says, shutting the door in his face.

I nod my approval. “Nice.”

“Thanks.”

I laugh when Tommy dusts off his hands.

Julian

My hands grip the back of my head as I lie half on my bed, my eyes squeezed shut. My whole body is on edge, again, and I try to relieve some of the tension with a steady pull on my hair.

They’re here. Back in my house. Banks and Camille. The thought of her going to him first, seekinghimout of the rest of us, given their unflinching hatred for each other, almost makes me laugh. She could’ve gone to Tommy if she needed a cushion. But even in this situation, Camille didn’t need a cushion. She needed to test run a familiar face. One she knows wouldn’t look back at her in any way to remind her of the pain she caused.

Now, after seeing what she had tried to avoid on the rest of our faces, she’s still here.

Why is she still here?

Why can’t I get myself to want her to leave?

Why can’t I be in charge of my own heart?

Why can’t my dad just be my dad?

So manywhys, and I can’t shut off my head. My life is falling apart while simultaneously trying to fall back together. I’m so mixed up. I feel like someone tossed me into a blender and left me spinning.

I just want everything to go away. I send out a silent plea.Go away.

“Julian?”

Of course.Where’s a lock when you need one?

“What?” booms from my mouth. I flinch at the harsh sound and sit up, already wanting to flop back down. My eyes latch onto the hem of a pink dress. “Not now, Reyna.” She comes closer, her movements drawing my attention to those smooth, tan legs. I fucking hate lust. How it creeps up in the moments I don’t even want it to. There’s no hesitance. Reyna’s body is familiar and takes me exactly where I want to go, every time.

“Not now?” She’s hurt, about to defend herself against my dismissal. “I’m just checking on you.”

“Well, I’m fine.” I pin my stare on an oldHaloposter from back in my gaming days and try to make my voice less flat. “I just wanna be alone.”

“Right.”

I nod her along.Yeah. Right.Just get out right now.Please.I can’t deal with all of this shit at once.

She doesn’t move, and I keep my mouth shut so I don’t use it to run her off. She’s just checking on me. She cares about me. I used to let her.

“Well, I have a shift, so. . .”

I sigh in relief and nod some more. She turns to leave and I rub my hands over my face, missing when she whips back around.

“Were you going to keep us a secret?”

I flop back down. “No, I wasn’t going to keep us a secret.” I repeat her words to be clear, each one building with frustration.

“I wouldn’t have kept you a secret—”

“We’re not a secret.” I groan, the frustration coming full force now, and sit up, meeting her flustered stare, Camille’s name passing unspoken between us. “I just saw her for a second. Did you want the first thing I say to be about us?”

“No, but—”

“That’s how you’re making it sound.”

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