Page 74 of Bring You Back

“There’s never a moment I don’t like being with her.”

I stifle a scoff, try to keep the bitterness out of my voice, but both end up coming through, anyway. “We both know you’re the better guy, Tommy.”

“You sound like Camille,” he says, but the words don’t immediately register through my continued spiel.

“I can’t want her in every way you do, I can’t feel for her the way you do, and there’s no fucking reason for it.”

“Keep reminding me.” Tommy mutters the frustrated warning as he shoots. He scores, retrieves, dribbles. “I honestly shouldn’t be talking to you anymore.” I recall the similar words he said to me when he confronted me for kissing Reyna, seeing the betrayal all over his face, what my split-second decision did to him. “If you did feel for her the way I do, it would still suck, but I’d have to understand.” He pins me with a look as he reiterates, “I’ll never understand this.”

“Then stop trying,” I say back, then remind him of his own words. “You wanna see this blow up in my face.”

He lifts the ball to shoot, pausing as he mulls over the words before admitting, “Kind of.”

I can’t help but smile and shake my head as he makes the shot. He is the better guy.

Now the words register.You sound like Camille.So, she’s running her mouth against me to our friends, but she’s also running her mouthforme, for us, by pushing Tommy between me and Reyna. I smile again despite myself, then say to Tommy, “You’re exactly what Reyna needs, man.”

He dribbles with force. “I’m not what she wants.”

“Thenbecomewhat she wants.”

“Why?” He halts, gripping the ball out to his side. “So you can take the easy way out?”

“There is no easy way out,” I say. “I’ve done what I’ve done. I’m fucked either way.” My shoulders bunch in another helpless shrug. “So, right now, I’m just trying to hold shit together.”

“At the expense of her heart.”

“For ourfriendship.” I watch him bounce the ball between his hands, my voice lowering with my next words. “I don’t wanna lose her.”

“Maybe she should lose you.” He shoots, he scores.

I don’t disagree. Reynawouldbe better off without most of the people in her life. Too bad she put off college at the ill advice of her counselor. Now she’ll be staying behind with everyone she should probably be running away from.

“She should lose all of us,” Tommy echoes my thoughts, almost to himself.

“She doesn’t need to lose you,” I say. “You’re her fucking favorite, man.” I try to tease, but my tone comes off dry.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” He’s brushing it off again, not wanting to get his hopes up with Reyna. For him, her potential rejection would be worse than not having her at all. “Banksis your favorite. I don’t see you wanting to datehim.”

I laugh despite myself. “My favorite rotates.”

Tommy’s not laughing, he’s staring at me, ball on his hip, his face resigned. “You and Camille need to quit dragging me into this. Quit telling me to pour my heart out to Reyna when her heart still beats foryou.” He shoves a hand in my direction. “You’re trying to use me and my feelings for her because you can’t face your own, and it’s shit. As if I can flip a switch on how she sees me by. . .” He squeezes the ball over his head like he’s about to throw it again.

“Fuck. Okay,” I say to stop him, holding my hands up. “I know. We’re dicks. Don’t take it out on the ball.”

If there’s ever a time Tommy’s shown me my shit, it’s right now. I know better, considering the situation I’m in. Feelings can’t be forced, and they can’t be erased. I’ve tried both. That’s not how they work. Sometimes they’re there, sometimes they’re not, and they don’t give a shit what you think.

“Why do the assholes always get the girl?” Tommy mumbles the question down at the ball. It’s rhetorical, but I answer, anyway.

“The nice guys let them.”

He dribbles once—hard. “Just leave me out of it.”

“You’re out,” I promise. “I won’t bring it up again. All right?”

He relaxes into a steady dribble. “If I ever do tell Reyna how I feel, it won’t be about you.”

“Will it be about Shelby?” My tone is light, but the words are pointed. I’m not trying to throw his girlfriend in his face, I’m just trying to remind him he has one. I know Tommy has feelings for Shelby—he wouldn’t be dating her otherwise, so I can’t turn the tables and give him shit. But I can try to shift the heat.

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