Page 1 of Grumpy Alien Billionaire

CHAPTER 1

TYLER

Cindy’s scissors slice through my paper like it’s nothing. My stomach drops.

“Ha, good luck with Jurassic Bark,” she says, leaning back against the counter with a smirk that could cut glass.

“Damn,” I blurt out, then clap a hand over my mouth. My cheeks burn. “I mean, dang!”

Cindy rolls her eyes so hard I’m surprised they don’t get stuck. “You’re hopeless, Ty. Seriously, it’s like you’re allergic to swearing.”

“I’m not hopeless,” I mutter, tugging at the hem of my apron. “I just… don’t like it.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. Meanwhile, Goliath’s waiting for you in the back. Better grab the trimmers before he figures out what’s coming.”

I groan, dragging my feet toward the grooming station. Goliath’s already there, his massive head resting on the table like he’s posing for a Renaissance painting. He’s a sweetheart, sure, but the second he sees those trimmers, it’s like trying to wrestle a freight train.

“Hey, big guy,” I say, forcing cheer into my voice. His ears perk up, and he gives me a slobbery grin. “We’re just gonna do a quick trim, okay? No big deal.”

He tilts his head, like he’s considering it, but I know better. I grab the trimmers from the drawer, and his eyes lock onto them like they’re a snake about to strike.

“Easy, easy,” I coo, stepping closer. “It’s just me, buddy. Nothing to?—”

He bolts. One second he’s on the table, the next he’s a blur of fur and drool, skidding across the floor like he’s auditioning for the canine Olympics.

“Goliath, no!” I shout, chasing after him. He’s surprisingly fast for a dog the size of a small horse. He darts around the corner, knocking over a stack of shampoo bottles with a crash that echoes through the shop.

Cindy’s laughter follows me. “Need a hand, or are you gonna let him redecorate the whole place?”

“I’ve got it!” I snap, though I’m not entirely sure I do. Goliath’s now wedged himself between the dryer and the wall, his tail wagging like he’s proud of himself.

“Sure you do,” Cindy calls back. “Just don’t let him eat the trimmers. Sandy’ll kill you if we have to buy another pair.”

I shoot her a glare over my shoulder, but she’s already turned back to her own station, still chuckling. Great. Just great.

“Alright, Goliath,” I say, crouching down to his level. “Let’s make a deal. You let me trim your nails, and I’ll sneak you an extra treat. Sound good?”

He cocks his head, considering. Then, with a dramatic sigh, he flops onto his side, exposing his paws like he’s surrendering.

“Atta boy,” I say, reaching for the trimmers. “This’ll be quick, I promise.”

Famous last words.

Cindy peeks around the corner just as I finish the last nail. Her jaw drops.

"How do you do it? How do you get giant beasts to roll over for you?"

I shrug, scratching behind Goliath's ears. His leg thumps against the floor in pure bliss.

"I guess the animals know I'm not going to hurt them."

"Uh-huh." She crosses her arms, eyebrows raised. "There's a King Kong slash Faye Wray thing going on, I just know it." Her lips curl into a mischievous grin. "Maybe if I left you tied to a stake wearing a skimpy outfit some huge man would come along and actually take you on a date."

"I go on dates all the time!" The words come out squeakier than intended.

"Oh please." She snorts. "You mean those choir boys who text their moms every five minutes? The ones who ask 'Mother, may I?' before pecking you on the cheek?"

"Jason didn't text his mom!" Heat creeps up my neck. "He just... needed to check if his grandmother's cat took her medicine."

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