Page 25 of Salvation

Sarah went from thoughtful to sad before brightening again. “I miss my parents. I’d give anything to go back up there and show them their grandson.” Her voice cracked, and she swallowed hard. “But I have a new life now, and I love it. I really love it.” Her voice practically sang. “I love discovering Arizona. I can’t wait for Teddy to get bigger so we can take him on longer hikes, too.”

Anna smiled. “I can totally picture Teddy looking out from a hiking backpack on Soren’s back. He’d feel like the king of the mountain.”

And damned if her imagination didn’t conjure up its own vision: a hike with a baby of her own, carried by Todd, who wrapped his fingers around hers as they walked.

“Of course, we’ll have to put off longer hikes if we have another,” Sarah mused, then threw a hand over her mouth. “Oh, God. I’m sorry.”

Anna forced a smile. She’d been around enough friends with babies to have received that mortified,I-just-remembered-not-to-say-thatlook. “No problem. I’m glad for you. And this way, I get to be an aunt, right?”

She told herself that would be almost as good as being a mother.

“Anna…” Sarah said.

She shook her head. Really, being an aunt would be great. And besides, she didn’t truly have to face up to the fact that she couldn’t have kids for another ten or fifteen years, when she hit forty or forty-five, right? In the meantime, she could just pretend she wasn’t interested.

“Are you still in touch with Jeff?” Sarah asked.

Anna snorted at the mention of her ex-husband. “He’s in touch with me. Does that count? Every year, he sends me a Christmas card with a picture of his growing flock, along with that curvy blonde he decided was worthy of bearing his children.”

Yeah, her voice was bitter. But she couldn’t help it. It had taken Jeff exactly thirteen months to leapfrog from her third miscarriage to hooking up with Madame Ovary and becoming a proud father — of three, by last count.

“What a jerk,” Sarah muttered.

No kidding. But at least she’d found out what a louse the man was before it was too late. Yes, she wanted kids, but kids with the right kind of guy. A true partner who was steady. Loyal. Honest.

Her mind flashed through a dozen faces of men like so many images on a slot machine, and Todd popped up in the winning row every time.

“I’m glad it worked out for you and Soren,” she said, trying to change the subject. “You two are made for each other.”

Sarah beamed.

“And the baby looks a lot like him. That’s so cute.”

Sarah’s face fell briefly, then went carefully neutral. “Nice view, huh?” she murmured, gesturing with one hand.

It was nice. Spectacular, really. Anna stepped closer to the overlook and took in the rocky outcrops, green mountains, and a long, winding valley that looked like the road to paradise. A dusty version of paradise, but a serene one. Anna closed her eyes, taking in the smells along with the sights, and her toes curled inside her hiking boots as if to take a bite of the earth under her feet.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Anna asked as they walked on.

“Sure.”

“How well do you know Todd?” She nearly winced at the obvious interest in her voice.

Sarah studied her. “He’s a great guy.”

Anna wondered why her cousin looked so pained.

“A really great guy. A lot like Soren.” Sarah looked away and bit her lip. She took a sip of water from Anna’s bottle before continuing. “You like him, don’t you?”

Anna couldn’t stop an instinctiveWho, me?expression from taking over her face. But who was she kidding? Yes, she liked Todd. She’d been spending days and nights dreaming about the man. Wondering if she was right to hold back or whether she ought to make a move.

“Look, Anna,” Sarah started. Her voice was low and hesitant. “I have to talk to you.”

Anna took a sip of water from her bottle, preparing herself to hear about whatever it was that haunted Todd so much. He was out of earshot, and though she didn’t like talking about people behind their backs, it might help her understand him better.

Sarah hemmed and hawed for a while, and Anna watched her out of the corner of her eye. Sarah, the lucky thing, had grown up as Todd’s neighbor. She’d spent so much time with Soren, she had to have known Todd, too. So why the shyness, the beating around the bush?

“You remember when Soren and I broke up for a while?”

---