Page 41 of Always Been You
I nod, my breath shuddering. “It was about the crash. I was dreaming about that night.”
“But… it’s been so long. I thought…” She shakes her head. “Can you tell me about it?” she says instead. “You’ve never really told me, and I didn’t want to push because I was afraid you’d leave.”
“Lynx… I didn’t leave because I didn’t care about you. I left because I cared too much to put your life in danger.”
“I know,” she whispers.
I look down at our joined hands, her soft fingers tangled with mine, steadying me. “I didn’t know how to tell you because… there are days I relive the accident like it just happened. Not like it was eleven years ago. And I’m selfish because, as painful as it is, those moments are the only times I get to see my parents again. I can’t let go. I won’t.”
Her lips part slightly as she draws in a shaky breath, and her voice trembles. “Is there anything—anything at all—I can do to help you forget?”
“You’d be surprised. Your presence alone calms me faster than any medication I’ve taken over the years.”
Her brows knit together. “You’re on medication for this?”
“There are days when it’s too much to bear. That’s why I’m an insomniac,” I confess.
“Your grandfather’s call the other day… ”
I nod, my gaze drifting to the calendar hanging on the wall. The date hits me like a punch to the chest—two days from now, the twelfth anniversary. Maybe that’s why tonight felt so raw. Or maybe it was because I fell asleep thinking about them in the guest room.
Lawliss runs her hand over my bare shoulder, her touch soft and soothing. “What if I have the perfect drug to help you forget?”
I turn to her, my lips twitching faintly. “Are you offering yourself up, Lynx?”
“What if I am?”
I place my hand gently beneath her chin, tilting her face up to look at me. Her eyes, deep and steady, hold mine.
“Then I’d take you up on the offer,” I murmur.
She scoffs, the faintest blush rising to her cheeks. “Stop getting ahead of yourself. We’re not a couple.”
“Oh, but we are,” I reply truthfully.
“Are you in a relationship with everyone you sleep with?”
“It’s you I’m tied to,” I say softly. “I haven’t been with anyone else since you.” Her cheeks flush deeper, and I can’t help the quiet laugh that escapes me.
“Come here,” I say, my voice low. She hesitates for just a second, then moves to sit on my lap as directed. Her warmth sinks into me, her presence easing the tension I didn’t realize had settled in my shoulders.
“How were you planning to make me forget?” I ask, my voice rougher now, edged with curiosity and something deeper.
She doesn’t answer right away. Instead, her fingers trace slow patterns along my skin, sending a gentle shiver up my spine. The faint scent of her lavender lotion mingles with the steam from the forgotten tea. I close my eyes, focusing on the way her touch feels—soft, deliberate, real. For the first time tonight, the chaos in my mind fades to the background.
She leans closer, her breath featherlight against my ear as she whispers, “Like this.”
“I told you if I take you again, that would be it and I was serious. Are you sure?” I know we are already married but I need her to know that and I have to tell her too.
“I haven’t been more sure about anything in my life that—” She doesn’t finish the sentence when I crush my mouth to hers, swallowing the rest of her words. She opens up and I’m gone. I deepen the kiss and our tongue and teeth swirl. She takes over the kiss at one point and does at another, both of us fighting for dominance until we break the kiss apart with a smile tugging on her lips.
“I want you naked…” she says, her voice hoarse and thick with desire. “And here I was thinking this was all about me,” I say and she chuckles.
“It is about you; that’s why I want you naked." She smirks and I laugh for the first time after such a dream and feel lighter.
“Why don’t we both drop our panties at the same time?” she crutches her nose, pointing to my shorts.
“Of course, you drop your panties and I drop my shorts. Jeez Lynx” This time she burst out laughing and her laughter does nothing but lead to an erection so I pull her to the middle of the bed and then crush my mouth on hers again with my left hand supporting her neck. She responds by wrapping both arms around my neck.
