Page 6 of Always Been You
“I’m not getting into this right now, Gramps.” My voice comes out sharper than I intend, but I can’t help it. I’m hanging on by a thread. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
Before he argues, I hang up and shove the phone into my pocket, the familiar guilt already clawing at my inside. I hate cutting him off like that, but I just can’t do it.Not tonight.
Relationship? Naah… I can’t give anyone what they want; for her, I can try but hell, I can’t even give myself that. Love, stability, a future? That’s a language I no longer understand. Not since I lost my parents. Not since I saw how easily life can fall apart. And not since I walked away.
As I walk into the bar, the pulsing music swallows me, offering the perfect distraction from the surviving guilt that always tugged at me at the mention of my parents.
My grandparents have been my rock since the death of my parents. Following my mother’s voice, I cleared my account, took whatever I received, and moved across the globe to find my maternal grandparents. I sometimes wonder what would have happened to me had my grandparents moved or their business collapsed but I needed not to worry.
Although the Montgomery Businesses wasn’t that popular then, I was able to locate my grandfather, a sneaky bastard who had followed my life enough to recognize me.
He welcomed me into his home and took me in. He claimed it was his penance to my mother. My grandmother was so over the moon to meet me that I became her baby, and having another family that loved me like my parents kept me sane while I planned my next course of action.
I saunter towards my usual private booth, nod at the duo, and clap my assistant and only friend on the shoulder. I slid into my seat, but the tightness in my chest lingers.
My uncle’s face flashes in my mind—the man who has taken everything from me. I shake my head. No. Not tonight.
“What are you doing here, Hanley?” I turn to the unexpected guest. I’m here to meet Josh only. Hanley is an acquaintance I see more and has become somewhat of a friend.
The server assigned to us comes to ask for our order.
“You keep forgetting I own this bar and many others, right?" He answers with a sly grin, almost amused. I order an Irish whiskey. Josh orders a beer and Hanley orders Orange Juice, claiming he’s off alcohol. I haven’t seen him drink alcohol in the last 6 years since his first and last trip to Louisville.
“How can I forget with the ridiculous names you give your businesses?” I shake my head while he chuckles.
“How long have you been here anyway?” I ask when I realize they ordered alongside me with no drinks on the table.
“Not long before you arrived,” Hanley replies.
“Why are you always with Josh?” I quip while the server who had brought our various orders served each of us.
“Because he’s my fucking cousin. How many times do I have to tell you?” I chuckle. I like getting a rise out of him and no, I haven’t forgotten they’re related. Josh is my executive assistant not because of his salary but because for some absurd reason, he likes working for me.
“I hear you are moving back home?” Hanley changes the topic and eyes me suspiciously with good reason. I’ve avoided any talk related to Louisville for so long that he’s certainly curious about my sudden decision. I even turned down his request to show him around on his trip to the vibrant yet unforgiving city.
“It’s time,” I state simply but he probes further.
“I’m still trying to figure out why you’re going back to that place and moving the business headquarters there. Last I heard, Louisville was off the map for you.”.
Raising a brow at him, I cling my glass to his that was halfway to his mouth and say, “Things change.”
“Yeah? Like what?” Hanley pushes, his gaze sharp. “Because from where I’m sitting, nothing’s changed for you in, what, eleven years? You’re still working yourself into the ground and avoiding anything that looks like real life. No offense,”
“None taken but you are not one to talk either," I eye him from the rim of my glass. Sensing the tension, I notice Josh glance at Hanley, then back at me, yet chooses not to intervene. He knows Hanley likes to poke me as do I and I’ve never been one to open up easily.
“Things change,” I repeat, my voice low but firm. “That’s all there is to it.”
Josh chuckles awkwardly. “Look, let’s not get into a therapy session here. We’re at Glitter & Bad Decisions, not some self-help group.”
Hanley raises his glass in a mock toast. “Fair enough. But I think you’re chasing something. Or maybe running from someone. Are you sure it’s business that’s pulling you back? Or is it personal?”
I clench my jaw but force a smirk. “You’re one to talk. You’ve been off alcohol for years, but you still hang out in bars.”
His grin fades for a split second, but he recovers quickly. “Touché. I’ve got my own demons, but at least I’m not pretending I’m just ‘busy.’”
I bark out a hollow laugh, but I appreciate his jab. There was truth in it, even if neither of us admitted to it. “Fair enough,” I mutter. “But let’s not pretend you’re not hiding behind that orange juice, either.”
Josh laughs, finally relaxing as the tension eases. “Hey, at least Hanley’s consistent. He’ll poke at you until you snap, then make you laugh just to keep you from throttling him.”
