Page 88 of Always Been You
Andrei walks up to me and places a firm hand on my shoulder.
“She’s okay,” he murmurs.
I nod, exhaling shakily before forcing myself to stand. “Can we see her?”
The doctor nods.
A hesitant voice whispers from behind me. “What about the baby?”
I turn toward the speaker. She’s the one Lawliss talks about often. Her best friend.
“Yes… is the baby okay?” Ines asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
The doctor gives us a reassuring nod. “The baby is fine. I’ve administered some medication, and after she receives her IV, she can go home.”
I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding.
The doctor turns to me now, her expression serious. “She’s awake, but you need to remember—she cannot be stressed under any circumstances.”
I barely hear her as she walks away. The others rush into the room, but I don’t move.
The words hit me all at once.
A baby.
Lawliss is pregnant.
And I’m going to be a father.
The realization slams into me with full force. My heartbeat pounds in my ears. My chest feels too tight.
This isn’t just about us anymore.
I press a hand over my face, exhaling slowly.
I have to fix this. Not just for me. Not just for her.
For our child.
For years, I told myself she was mine. It’s always been her for me. I told myself no matter how far she ran, no matter what name she took, I would always find my way back to her and when I got to be with her, everything in me was sealed. But now, it’s not about chasing her or claiming her anymore.
It’s about deserving her.
Deserving them.
I run a hand through my hair, my fingers gripping tight at the roots. What kind of father will I even be? I can’t even fix myself. A sense of fear grips me. Fear I haven’t felt before coiled deep in my ribs—the fear that I’ll fuck this up somehow, that I’ll never be enough for them. I barely know how to be a good man, let alone a good father.
I’m not the good guy. I never was.
I’ve lied. I’ve manipulated. I’ve hurt people without blinking, and if it meant keeping Lawliss, I would have burned the whole world down.
But I won’t be that man for my child. I shake my head. I won’t be that man for her.
She deserves better. They both do.
I push off the wall, feeling something shift inside me affirming my decision earlier. A choice I’ve never made before.
I won’t force this. Yes… I won’t hold onto her so tightly that she suffocates under my grip. If she stays, she stays because she chooses me.
