Page 87 of Commander

“Then what will you do?”

“It’s classified.”

A frown crossed his face, as well as irritation.

“All you need to know is that I won’t be in the field. My role is more behind the scenes.”

“I…” He hesitated, scratching a hand down his face. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“You don’t get a vote. Now if we are done, I have a helicopter ready to take me to the airfield.” My hand trembled as I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

I kept my composure when Hamir had held a gun to my head, not showing even an ounce of emotion, and now I was shaking like a leaf.

I could blame it on the pregnancy but I knew that would be a lie. I was accepting my fate. The one I’d created.

“So that’s it?”

“Yes.” I bit my lip as I turned to the door. I had to get out of the room or I’d lose it.

“Tara.”

“What do you want from me, Ashur?”

“I wanted you to love me as much as I love you.”

I gripped the doorknob and said over my shoulder, “I do. It never stopped for me. I know I was stupid to deny it, and I hurt you by keeping who I was a secret, but my only excuse was that I was protecting myself and countless others, including you.”

“Then the money I offered you wasn’t the reason you agreed to marry me?”

I shook my head. What point was there in denying something I’d known all along but refused to acknowledge?

“I used the excuse of money to justify wanting to marry you even with all our history.” I wiped at the wetness streaming down my cheeks. “What does it matter? I fucked up. Now I know it’s too late.

“The only thing I can promise is that the picture controversy will die down soon. I’ve spoken to the board in Geneva. They are going to release a statement through one of their Asian charities claiming the woman in the picture isn’t me and they have no connection with me. The woman who posed as my decoy in past missions will be named as the unknown assassin. She’s retiring and plans to assume a new identity so there won’t be any blowback.”

“So that’s it?”

“What else is there? Our names will be cleared.”

“I mean for us.”

“I can’t live this existence where we barely spend time together outside of fucking. I need more of you than your body even if you think I don’t deserve it.” I took a deep breath and then said, “Goodbye, Ashu.”

I opened the door and walked out.

Casey met me as I came down the hall from the Oval Office. His face was a wash of worry and concern.

“All my things on the copter?”

He nodded, following my brisk steps out of the residence. I had to get away as fast as possible before I completely fell apart.

“Mrs. Kumar, are you positive this is what you want to do? Is there no hope?”

“How would you feel if the woman you loved kept all the secrets I did?”

“You forget he married you under false pretenses too.”

I snorted. “Not the same thing. He concocted his bargain as a way to get the woman he loved back.”

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