Page 89 of Commander

“Then stay with me for my money. You see, in the last twenty minutes, my net worth doubled.”

I clenched my jaw, glancing at the papers I’d given him thrown on a side table and bit out, “That is not funny.”

“I’m not laughing, Tara. Do you know what it was like to see the details of that document? You gave me everything back, even the house I gave you as a wedding present.”

“It didn’t belong to me. You may have offered me the bargain as a way to get me back, but I accepted it without question. I got the easier end of the arrangement.”

“Liar. Marrying me meant you tied yourself to me for life. It was far from the easier alternative.” He ran a thumb along the skin of my wrist.

“My reasons don’t matter. Please let me go.” I tried to tug my arm free again but this time he laid it flat against his shirt. The heat of the skin underneath the fabric warmed through to my fingertips. “I can’t do this, Ashur.”

“Let me say this, and if you still feel like you have to leave then I’ll let you go.”

My shoulders slumped, and I resigned myself for whatever he had to tell me. If it would make it quicker for me to leave, then I’d do it.

“The press is right about me. You are my Achilles’ heel. You make me softer, kinder. You get me to be more flexible on issues I tend to view as black and white. I’m not the ridged asshole when you’re around.”

“Whatever. I don’t have that kind of power over you.”

“You have no idea. Half the Republicans think I’ve been brainwashed by my wife’s feminine wiles. I’m no longer the conservative in Independent clothing that they voted for. I’ve sided with the Democrats on key issues and that is essentially telling them to fuck off. And the fact I don’t give two shits about their opinion makes me an asshole.”

“You’re not an asshole. You just like people to think that so they’re scared of you.”

“No, baby.” He cupped my face and it took all my will not to turn into the warmth of his palm. “You’re the only one who thinks this. I can be an ass. Hell, I was an ass to you. Why do you think I was so angry with you? You held my heart in your hands and you crushed it. I tried to show you that you meant more to me than our agreement and you kept mentioning our contract. And then when I learned about Solon, I was more hurt that you kept a piece of yourself from me than the fact you were an agent for a secret organization.”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know this now. Seeing the revised contract gutted me. You detailed all the duties you’d perform as a first lady as if it was a job description. It was so cold, and I’d thought our original contract was cold. You went so far as to state you’d agree to an annulment if you didn’t meet the requirements of the agreement.”

“I just wanted you to know I wouldn’t shrug off my duties as your wife, even if we weren’t really together.”

“We are together. God, I’d give anything to get back what we had during our honeymoon.” He dropped his forehead against mine. “I’m fucking this up. I’m not good with emotions. Maybe it was my upbringing or all the years I spent in the military, but I tend to be too serious.”

“What are you saying?” My heart was beating so fast, it felt like it would explode out of my chest.

“That I don’t want to do this without you. I love you, Tara. I need you.”

I wanted to tell him that I needed him too, but held it back.

When I remained quiet, he tilted my chin up so he could stare into my tear-filled eyes.

“Say something, baby.”

“I want to think this can work, but how will you deal with what I do? I am part of an organization whose sole purpose is to circumvent the law to achieve its goals.”

“You make it sound like you’re selling arms instead of trying to free people caught in the net of human trafficking.”

“I’m serious. You have strict beliefs about what’s right and wrong. Can you live with the fact I will constantly be looking for loopholes in US and international law for our efforts, while you are trying to uphold those laws? Being with me could cost you your political career.”

“Baby, I’m not sure if you realized this, but I’m not the squeaky-clean guy you think I am. I worked with your pal Xander under the radar and used my private funds to enter an illegal auction in a country that doesn’t have the best relationship with the US. If anyone found out about that, what you did would be considered child’s play.

“As for my political career,” he continued, “I’d give it up without a thought if it meant I had you. Besides, it isn’t as if I don’t have another career waiting in the wings. Trust me, Tara. You wanted me to fight for you when we were younger, and I didn’t. You have to know what I said the other night was bullshit. We do have something to fight for. I’m fighting for you now.”

I stared at him, trying to process all that he’d said.

Tears spilled down my face.

He’d put his reputation on the line not for the sole purpose of saving Ameera, but for me. He loved me so much that he’d set his strict rules to the side. I’d wanted him to fight for me and he’d done it in a way that I could never have expected.

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