Page 15 of Ruger

What brought me out of that moment was Jax yelling and begging for me to let go. Her face was apple-red as I sneeredand dropped her to the ground. She gathered in so much air that she could have sucked the entire house down her throat. Vomit and tears coated her face as she cried out, and Jax went to her side. I walked over to the corner, placed my head on my knees, and wept. All I'd ever done was try to make her love me like I loved her, but the nicer I was to her, the meaner she had become.

After that night, my pops sent me to live with my grandmother, and I never saw her ass again. Jax, of course, still communicated with her. I, however, would never talk to that crazy, wicked bitch again. She was the reason for my disconnect from giving women my heart. She seared me with her hate for me, and I could never bring myself to give the one thing I had to protect over the years. The only woman who resided there now was my grandmother.

Seeing Kenzi cry was the first time I've felt anything after twenty years. I didn't dog women. I just never extended myself beyond bringing us both pleasure. However, with Kenzi, I could feel a shift in the atmosphere whenever I was around her. I didn't like that mean and rude shit. It was a trigger for me. So, whenever anybody jumped out of pocket with me, it made me want to do them harm. With Kenzi, I'd harm her ass so good that if I asked her what she liked, her reply would always be,"Whatever you like."

"What's that smell?" Jax asked as I helped him clean up the kitchen.

I frowned in confusion. "What?"

He stepped closer to me and sniffed. "Smells a lot like love around here."

"Fuck outta here," I protested, mushing him out of my face. He laughed and started placing his utensils back inside his case.

"You can deny your attraction if you want, but this is something I'veneverwitnessed from you before."

"And what the fuck are you witnessing, Jaxson?"

"Let's see... you bring her to your loft, the place where you seek peace from the world when you're in the city. You called me over here to cook for her, and when you saw her crying, you comforted her. You've never hugged anyone but Grandma Inez."

"What's your point, Bro?"

"Oh, I think you know my point, brother Kai."

Jaxson gave the goofy ass grin he always gave when he thought he had the right answer to something.

"First, you know my condo is in renovation right now, and she wasn't coming to my main house. Secondly, her ass can't cook, and I'd be damned if I did it, so yo' ass was the alternative. Third, she's going through some shit with having to hide out here because some niggas are after her, and the only family she has is the cause of it. I saw a need, so I handled it. Stop trying to make this shit more than what it is."

Jax didn't reply and kept that stupid ass grin on his face. "Whatever you say, my guy."

"Are you done, nigga, because you're about to piss me off?"

"Say less, Bro." He closed up his little rolling case and headed toward the elevator. "Let me know when to get fitted for my tux. Wes can put together the event, and your nieces are already prepped for flower girl duty."

"Yeah, I'll make sure I'll get fitted for that black tux. A funeral at a wedding... imagine that."

Jax guffawed as he got onto the elevator. "I luh you, nigga. Be ready tomorrow. Time to end this shit."

"Indeed. Luh you, too."

The doors closed, and I grabbed my coffee, newspaper, and glasses from the table, then moved to the couch. Taking the remote from the drawer beside me, I hit the button to allow the ninety-seven-inch to descend from the ceiling. Turning the channel to the Channel 4 news, I placed my glasses on andopened my paper. I liked to read the paper and watch the news at the same time to stay in the know of everything. Certain things our news didn't cover, and some things the newspaper didn't cover either.

Grandma Inez turned me on to the newspaper. Every Sunday, she'd sit in front of the television watching reruns ofAll My Children,One Life to Live, andGeneral Hospitalwhile simultaneously reading the paper. I'd ask her how she could focus on both things, and she would tell me she loved using all of her senses. The smell and taste of her coffee, the noise of the television, and the feel and visual of the paper brought her peace, allowing her to enjoy the small things while she had them. At the time, I didn't get it until she started giving me the funnies in the newspaper and a cup of coffee. After that, it became a routine for me. I made a mental note to go see my favorite girl.

While I read up on the going-ons in DC, out of my peripheral, I could see Kenzi coming down the stairs. I didn't turn to look at her, though, because from what I could tell, her ass wasn't dressed appropriately.

"Is there bottled water?" she asked, now coming into full view.

I glanced at her briefly, and just as I thought, she was rocking some fucking boy shorts showing off that fat ass pussy print, with a crop top that barely covered her mango-sized titties. I chuckled and picked up my mug. She was trying to bait me, and in honor of Grue's wishes, I wouldn't fuck his sister... Like I said, he needed to tell her not to fuck me.

"Instead of going to check, you felt the need to ask me?"

She shrugged. "It's your house."

"I'm sure you've looked in that refrigerator countless times. Stop playing with me." She giggled and walked away as I shook my head and sipped my coffee.

This fucking girl.

She returned moments later and sat on the other end of the couch. She crossed her legs, and I caught a glimpse of her pretty white toes. I tried not to pay her any mind, but it was hard considering I was what Jax said I was... attracted to her. While she played around on her phone, I decided to break the silence since her ass distracted me from reading the paper.

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