Page 54 of Believe in Caloosa Springs

I unclasped my hands, wiped my tear-soaked cheeks and put the car into gear. Feeling like an entirely new man, I hit the gas andbarrelled towards my new life, whatever that might look like. And, for the first time ever, I didn’t feel guilty about it.

I was going to go to Tian and tell him the truth. I was going to tell him about my past, and that I was absolutely head over heels for him. It might be a little soon for a love confession, but I’d kept my feelings bottled up enough for two lifetimes. And if he didn’t feel the same way, well, better to know now.

My heart was pounding against my chest like a jackhammer by the time I pulled into his driveway. I got out of the car and headed up the driveway so quickly I had to double back and close the car door…idiot.

I got up to the porch, taking the steps two at a time, and stopped just before the front door. I took the sleeves of my jacket and wiped them down the sides of my face and around my eyes, silently cursing myself for not having checked myself in the visor mirror before darting out of the car like a love-sick Romeo.

I took as deep a breath as the icy air would allow, counted to three, and knocked on the door.

Chapter Fifteen

Christian

“Hey, Tian,” Mandy called from the kitchen sink. “Porter’s here.”

On instinct, I closed the fridge and stood beside to her to peek out the window. Porter brought the car to a fast stop and flung his door open. He jumped out in a panic and then took off running up the driveway.

“Is everything okay?” Mandy asked.

I left the window, crossed the room into the foyer, and reached for the door handle.

“Wait,” Mandy hissed, holding her arm out. “I think he… yeah, he needs a minute. Hold off.” She was still watching Porter from the kitchen window with a strange look on her face.

“What is going on?”

Mandy didn’t have an opportunity to answer as he knocked on the other side of the door.

Now, I was frozen in fear. I didn’t want to just snatch the door open right away like I was desperately waiting for him to knock. But what was the appropriate amount of time? I figured however long it normally took me to walk from the living room to the front door was good, but how long was that? My brainspun around in circles as I tried to figure out approximately how many steps it was from there to here, and how long it took me to take each step. I picked up one foot and set it back down…that couldn’t have been more than, like… half a second.

He knocked on the door again.

“Fuck,” I muttered.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I turned back to Mandy and grimaced. “Open the door, you fucking freak!” she hissed.

“Yeah! Yeah…”

I turned the handle and pulled the door open. The second there was enough clearance for his body, it collided into mine. His gloved hands went to the sides of my face and he crashed his lips against mine. My arms found their way around his back and I held on tight in fear of my knees buckling.

I don’t know how long it lasted, but when we pulled our lips apart, he let out a heavy breath and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest and cradling the back of my head against him.

“That looked like a religious experience,” Mandy interrupted.

Porter’s laugh was unexpected and robust, filling the room with a joyful noise. He dropped his arms and took a small step back. “Can I talk to you for a sec,” he asked.

I nodded and pointed down the hallway towards my bedroom door. Porter laced his fingers with mine and followed a half-step behind.

He walked past me into the room. I closed the door behind us, where he proceeded to attack my mouth again, pulling a low, softmoan from my throat and swallowing it down. He pulled away again, and I found myself chasing his lips.

“I need to tell you something,” he said.

My eyes floated to the floor, not being able to look him in the eyes. “I need to tell you something too. I haven't exactly been honest with you…” I began, pulling the small silver ring in my bottom lip between my teeth. A nervous habit.

“You can tell me anything.” He grabbed my hands, pulled me over to the edge of my bed, and we took a seat.

“Um… well, I…” I glanced up and met his eye for a split-second. He had a worried look on his face. I wondered how long into my confession I would get before I had to watch his handsome face twist up into disgust when he found out who I was and what I had been doing for the last year or so to pay my bills and maintain my independence. “Can we… lay down?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you feeling okay?” He reached up and gently touched the back of his hand to my cheek. “You’re a little clammy.”

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