Page 54 of My Promise To Keep

Now I know what I have to do — just be around her, be myself, be us the way we always were.

‘Ooh, this is a big one.’

I sit and watch as Doug reels in his catch.

‘What’s Cara doing today?’ I ask absentmindedly.

‘I don’t know, hanging out with Bo.’

I love that they’re the kind of couple that gives each other space without needing to know all the details.

‘I love seeing you happy, man.’ I smile, and he turns to me, beaming.

‘Yeah, it feels pretty good.’

Doug drops into the chair next to mine, and I hand him a beer from the cooler next to me.

‘Do you think you’ll get married?’

‘Without a doubt.’ I widen my eyes at the speed of his answer, and he laughs. ‘I love her. She’s fucking beautiful, for a start. She makes me laugh, she challenges me, and it’s the best sex of my life, brother.’ He drops his head back, and I know he’s thinking about it. ‘She’s perfect.’

‘She’s great with Bo, too,’ I add, and he smiles wide, nodding enthusiastically.

‘They fuckin’ adore each other. If I didn’t already love Cara, seeing her with Bowie would seal it.’ He swigs from his bottle, and I do the same. ‘Listen, Leo. I know I said I didn’t think you could do it, and I’m sorry for that. I want you to have this. Every morning, I wake up knowing I have the love of my life next to me, and it feels like nothing else matters, you know? All the dumb shit I’ve done, the mistakes I’ve made, doesn’t matter because having her in my arms washes it all away.’

I blow out a breath at his poetic honesty. I’ve never heard him talk like this.

‘When did you know?’ He waits for more. ‘That it was love, the real deal.’

‘Ah,’ he smiles again, ‘way sooner than I admitted it, even to myself. When I couldn’t get her out of my head, and just the thought of her made my guts knot up, and when I craved just a glimpse of her. When I lost her and thought I wouldn’t get her back. It wasn’t one big moment, you know? It was moment after moment of, holy shit, I can’t live without this woman.’

‘Yeah.’ I think about Zoe. It’s different because I’ve always known it was her, even when I knew it couldn’t be. That’s the reason I never did the relationship thing. What was the point when I would always be in love with her?

‘Can I ask you something?’ He turns his head to look at me, and I nod as I take a drink. ‘Why now?’

‘What?’

‘Why do you want a relationship now after never wanting it before?’

‘I told you, I…’

‘You thought you got somebody pregnant, yeah, I know, but I can’t put it together why that would change your whole outlook.’

I inhale deeply, then fuck it, I dip my toes.

‘It didn’t. I always wanted it.’ Doug’s eyes widen, and he turns his body more to face me head-on. ‘Wanting it was never what stopped me — it was about connection. I never found it, not with any of the women I met. No spark, nothing that made me want more with any of them, so I stopped trying.’

‘Leo…’ His frown has me turning my gaze to the water, focusing on the glistening ripples in front of me.

‘It’s not a big deal, man. I had a lot of fun for a lot of years, but now, I want more. I want to wake up feeling what you feel, knowing that I have the woman of my dreams in my arms. I’m ready.’

‘She’s a lucky woman,’ he murmurs, and I turn to him, wondering. Does he know? ‘Whoever she may be, when you find her, she’s gonna know she’s the luckiest woman in the world to have a man like you.’

‘Love’s made you soft, brother,’ I joke to take the heat off me, and he shakes his head, laughing low and slow, and I know that laugh.

‘Nah, makes me hard as a fuckin’ rock.’

‘You’re an animal.’

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