Page 24 of My Promise To Keep

‘I’m sorry,’ she whimpered. ‘I thought I was ready. I’m sorry.’

I stepped back and turned away, zipping up my fly and bracing myself against the countertop. Every instinct in my body was to comfort her and take care of her, but I couldn’t do that, not now. I needed to let her breathe.

‘Go to bed, Zo.’

My voice was weak. I felt broken, and she said nothing before passing me and heading into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She wasn’t ready. I should have known that.

‘This what you wanted?’ I said quietly into the silence. ‘It’s not me, Luke. I’m not the one.’

You, And Leo?

Leo

Five Years Ago

‘You sure about this?’

It was a damn shame. My best friend had built himself a good life and was giving it all up to move back to his mama’s house.

‘I don’t have a choice. The baby will be here soon, and I’m not missing a second.’

When he told me he’d knocked up his evil ex-girlfriend while he was wasted, I was disappointed to say the least. He didn’t struggle to get women — literally, any other woman would have been better than putting his dick in Jessie one more time, but no, like a dowsing rod, that thing sought out her ever-open legs.

‘I’ll miss having you close, man,’ I admitted. It’s been fun, both of us in the city.

‘Yeah, me too.’

We loaded the last of his things into my car, and together, but driving separately, we headed back to Forest Falls.

Driving has always helped me to clear my head, well, usually, anyway. Right now, my head was all over the fuckin’ place because I knew I would be seeing Zoe, and I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in a few months — since that night. It had been weird as fuck, but I needed some space. We both did.

What happened between us had thrown us both for a loop. I’d have loved to be able to say it hadn’t given me something to think about in the dark and quiet of the night, but that would be the biggest pile of bullshit known to man. Truth was, I’d caught myself with my dick in my hand and her on my mind more times than I could count. Even though I hated myself for letting it happen, she crept in, usually when I was too far gone to push her out, and her being there was the thing to push me over the edge.

The guilt weighed heavily. It was a lead weight on my chest. She was my cousin’s wife, and she couldn’t ever be mine, even in fantasy, even though I’d promised.

But then it happened. We kissed, we had sex, and I couldn’t get the memory to fuck off and leave me be.

I’d given her space. I’d gone down to the shop and sketched for a while before sleeping on the couch in my office. When I headedup to the apartment the next morning, I expected her to be gone, but she wasn’t. She was sitting on my couch, her legs crossed and a coffee mug in her hands, and she looked so sad, so small.

‘You didn’t do anything wrong,’ she said as I sat on the coffee table in front of her. ‘The date was amazing, and if we’re honest with each other, there has been chemistry for a long time.’ I waited for the but — I knew there was a but. ‘But I can’t do this, Leo.’ Her voice was so small, and tears shone in her eyes.

She needed more time. I could give her that, and I would. Despite the way it ended, despite feeling like a piece of shit after it, being with Zoe that way was the most beautiful moment of my life. She could take all the time she needed. I could wait.

‘I don’t want to lose you as my friend. I love you so much, but I can’t do this with you.’

She didn’t want time. She wanted somebody else.

‘You’ll never lose me as a friend, Zoe,’ I answered as though her truth hadn’t gutted me. I reached out and took the hands that were twisting together in her lap and squeezed them gently. ‘You’ll never lose my friendship, but I need to not see you for a while.’

Her gaze snapped up to mine, and for a minute, she looked hurt, but then it disappeared. She nodded, lowered her legs, and walked toward the door. I didn’t look up as she put on her shoes and gathered her things, and she didn’t say goodbye as she left.

As I pulled up at the bar, her bar, my heart beat fast in my chest. Doug was storing most of his stuff in Zoe’s guest bedroom since he was moving back home to his mom’s house and wouldn’t have room, but that meant I was seeing her any minute, and for the first time ever, I didn’t want to.

‘Thanks for this, man,’ Doug said as we got out of our cars and started to unload the first boxes.

‘Not a problem, brother, you know that. Besides, Pop’s been on my ass to come home for a while, so it gets that done too.’

My dad was the best man I knew, and I missed him. He came up to see me in the city, even let me tattoo him a couple of times, but he wanted me home, and I’d avoided it for far too long.

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