Page 92 of Hula Girl

“What I mean to say, Ava,” he interrupts again, “is that my time is limited, so let’s not waste it with platitudes. Though, I know you mean them and I appreciate the sentiment.”

Now I’m thrown by his purposeful tone. I don’t try to guess how I should handle the moment, and instead, let him speak, which is clearly what he wants.

“I want to say a few things toyou.” He takes a deep breath and I try to steel myself, suddenly fearing he will have changed his mind about the retirement plan I helped engineer. “I know you have great loyalty to this firm. I know you’ve found a way to get along with Manny. And that both of these things compel you to stay in a situation that isn’t necessarily to your benefit.”

“I, um, what do you mean?”

“I mean, that as decent as Manny is now being to you and me, that doesn’t mean he will ever allow you to progress in this firm. Certainly not at the pace that I have encouraged.”

“Oh, I see.” I hadn’t thought much along these lines. I’ve been so busy with this transition process that it hadn’t occurred to me what my future might be here.

“I’m telling you this because you and I have always been honest with each other,” he says and levels a meaningful look at me. “And because you’re family.”

I nod and manage a smile. But the idea that my career path at this firm is likely stagnant at best has left a sour taste in my mouth.

“I appreciate that, Randall.”

“I’m not saying it’s fair. I’m not saying it’s right. It’s just the way it is.” He takes a deep breath. “Now, the question is, how do you manage this reality?”

“I will have to take some time to consider that.”

“That’s the thing, Ava. There’s never as much time as you think there will be.”

My eyes fill with tears, and I try to look away from him to hide the sadness I feel for him with those words. But then he touches my chin and forces me to meet his eyes again.

“That doesn’t just apply to this old guy,” he says with a laugh. “I’m not done yet, but I have had a great life. I’ve had a great career. But I sure wish I would have found more time for my family along the way.”

I swipe the tears from my cheeks, unable to keep them at bay.

He takes my left hand in his and toys with the engagement ring. “I don’t know the whole story of you and this Ford fellow,” he says, “but I can see there’s something real there. My last bit of advice to you, Ava, is to not settle. Not in work. And not in love. And you certainly don’t have to stay at this firm to find success. Know that all I want for you is to be happy.”

There’s no concern about office decorum as I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly.

“Thank you, Randall. Thank you so much.”

“It’s been my pleasure. Now, get me to the elevator banks so I don’t have to schmooze with anyone else. I’d rather just go gently into that good night, if you don’t mind.” He winks at me, and I laugh.

“I’d love to.”

38

Ava

Idon’t rush out of there, pack a bag, and hop the first plane to Maui. I don’t call Ford and tell him that Randall has finally been the one to push me into deciding to follow my heart. I don’t do anything out of the ordinary at all, in fact.

Once I’ve seen Randall off into Alice’s good hands, I return to the office. I bypass the remnants of the party and go straight to my office. To anyone watching, I will be doing what I’ve done for the last six years here at this firm: working longer and harder than just about anyone else.

But what I’m really doing is methodically reviewing each of my open cases and making detailed notes. They are notes for whichever attorney will be taking my place. That’s not to say that I’m about to burn bridges here. No, I’m preparing to take a cue from Ford’s playbook and availing myself of the firm’s leave of absence plan. It will give me just enough time to plan my next move. I know it will be a move away from this place where I’ve been so comfortable and had such high hopes for advancement. But I don’t know anything more than that. And I’m just too damn practical to not have some kind of a plan.

Once I’ve written a letter to human resources and copying Manny explaining my need for time away, I schedule it to deliver tomorrow, after I’m well gone.

I run by my place and toss bathing suits, sundresses, and other warm weather clothes into a suitcase while I talk to my mom on the phone. I tell her everything I’m thinking, and she doesn’t hesitate in encouraging me. She’s genuinely excited for me, not just because I’ve told her that I’m hoping to surprise Ford with a grand gesture, but because she believes great things will come out of this—both in work and love.

“So, I don’t know exactly what happens from here,” I say.

Mama laughs. “And isn’t that wonderful?”

“It’s terrifying,” I reply. “But I think I can do this.”