Page 129 of Tangled Up In You

“Let’s go up to my room, Gavin,” Sophie said, pulling at his arm.

“Yeah, let’s. And why don’t you go find your woman, Conor,” Gavin said.

“Sure, I will. Hey, since we’re both here, Gav, maybe we should work on writing the new album. What do you think?”

Sophie stared at Conor, hoping to convey a silent plea to stop provoking her husband.

“I’m not going to have a lot of free time. This trip is about Sophie and me. We’ll meet back up in Dublin.”

“Better count on that one,” Conor replied, and Sophie saw him shake his head as he watched them walk away.

In the elevator,Sophie soaked up the sight of Gavin. The fact that he had lost weight and had faint dark circles under his eyes did nothing to subdue the delight she felt in seeing him again. She was suddenly full of hope that things would right themselves, that they would be okay again.

“You’ve been crying,” he said, and gently stroked her cheek.

She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes briefly. The elevator stopped at their floor and she pulled him by the hand toward their room without replying.

They found a bottle of champagne on ice inside the room. She had forgotten about her request for it to be delivered in time for Gavin’s arrival.

“Shall we open it?” she asked brightly.

“Come here, darlin’,” he said.

She hesitated, but when she went to him and he wrapped his arms around her, she sighed from the pleasure of it. He had always told her they fit perfectly together and she knew it was true.

“Tell me why you were crying,” he whispered to her as he held her.

She closed her eyes tightly. What could she tell him when she knew he would dismiss her concerns and deny his addiction once again? He didn’t really want to know that her tears were because she was terrified that she’d lost him. That she’d never get him back. That he no longer needed her.

“Let’s not talk about it,” she said, and kissed him.

This was the way she could feel close to him, if only temporarily. Passion was the easiest thing to share and she clung to it with unmasked desperation. Afterward, he held her in his arms and it was the only place she wanted to be.

“I think I want to stop modeling,” she said.

He traced the curve of her breast with the back of his hand and waited for her to say more.

“It doesn’t make me happy anymore.”

“The modeling? Is that what’s making you unhappy?”

She was quiet for a moment. “I just want to be at home, with you.”

“I’ll be back in studio soon, then tour, so …”

His lack of enthusiasm for having her at home with him destroyed the hope she had felt earlier. She turned on her side away from him so he wouldn’t see the tears that spilled from her eyes and onto the pillow.

“What’s going on with you and Conor, then?” he asked.

“What do you mean? Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“He’s been a good friend, is all. He lets me cry on his shoulder about you.” She got up and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Looking into the mirror, she noted her red-rimmed eyes and wondered what she was doing. Her husband seemed to have little interest in their marriage. Conor was in love with her and seemed willing to suffer all consequences to be with her. Part of her knew her best course of action would be to go to Los Angeles to be by herself for some time to grow strong in her own right. Not only could she do nothing to help Gavin with his troubles, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that he did not want her to even try anymore. She felt helpless, overwhelmed with the feeling that she was unable to make any meaningful change at this point.

Gavin’s knock at the bathroom door pulled her from the downward spiral of her thoughts.

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