Page 138 of Tangled Up In You

Sophie returned his stare, silent, until he realized there was nothing more to say. He threw the papers on the floor, turned, and left her home.

When she was sure he was gone, she scooped up the papers, methodically spread them out on the carpeted floor, and devoured every word. When she read a quote from the stripper, Sammy, saying that her affair with Gavin was meant to be because he had a gold tattoo of the letter ‘S,’ she knew Gavin had betrayed her.

Conor telling her so hadn’t been enough. It was too awful to believe, let alone hear from someone who knew exactly how much it would hurt.

But now she had no choice. And as she sat alone in the half-packed house, she realized she had no one left to hold on to.

83

GAVIN

“You’re in for it with the wife,” Jackson said.

He and Gavin were sitting at the kitchen counter of Jackson’s penthouse apartment in London, trying to shake off hangovers with strong coffee and toast. Even with the skies overcast, light flooded into the space through the floor-to-ceiling windows and bounced off the predominately white and glass furniture. The bright light combined with their aching heads had him turning away from the spectacular view of the Thames.

“It’ll be okay,” Gavin said.

“Really? She doesn’t mind that sort of thing, then?”

“The point is, she will never leave me. I know that much.” This declaration didn’t make him happy. He remembered a time not so long ago when his wife was more spirited, when she demanded more from him. It’s what he had loved about her early on.

“What makes you worth it, do you suppose?” Jackson asked, his face a mask of curiosity.

“Not a goddamn thing. That’s the crime of it,” he said. “She’s always seen some version of me that I don’t think I ever really lived up to. But she keeps waiting for me to, even though I don’t deserve it—or her.”

Jackson considered this for a moment. “So why don’t you try to?”

“Then I wouldn’t be me, would I?” Gavin replied with a laugh.

“I’m not buying it,” Jackson said.

“What?”

“You’re not this guy, Gavin. It’s so obvious you’re trying on a role, like an actor would. You’ve been playing the cokehead—careless, selfish, fighting inner demons. That may be how you feel, but that’s not who you are. The act is wearing thin and you’re going to have to give it up.”

“Jesus, everyone’s a shrink,” Gavin said.

“Come on, you know you’re going to give up this coke crap soon. It’s not doing what you want anymore, right?”

Gavin looked into his coffee mug, hesitating. “No, I suppose not.”

“This may sound absurd, but I want to help you quit.”

Gavin gave him an incredulous look.

Jackson laughed. “I know, I’m the one who got you started. But I didn’t think you’d go fucking crazy with it!”

“I didn’t either. But it helps me get through the day.”

“What’s so fucking awful right now? That hysteria about your mum has gone away. Now all you’ve got is the press going on about you being a cokehead. Stop being a cokehead and it’ll be done.”

“Add to that adulterer.”

“Isn’t there a rule about how one time with a stripper doesn’t count?” Jackson asked with a grin.

“Maybe there would be if it didn’t have the bonus media coverage to go with it.”

“Was she even worth it?”

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