Page 155 of Tangled Up In You

“Oh, yes, of course.” Again, he’d responded as a reflex. It took the silence of her hesitation to raise the alarm in him. What was Sophie’s mother doing calling at this hour?

“Listen, Sophie doesn’t know I’m calling,” she continued. “In fact, she forbade me to do so. But you’re going to find out about this soon enough in the media, so I thought you should hear it from family first.”

That sent a ripple of dread through his core and he sat up quickly.

“What’s happened? Is she all right? Tell me she’s all right.”

“She … will be. But, Gavin, I’m so sorry.” She took a breath and let it out haltingly. “She lost the baby.”

“Lost the …” The words came out choked before he gave up. The baby.Theirbaby. All that promise of a new life, then it was overwhelmed by the hurt and anger over Conor, only to be left with this. This sudden emptiness.

“Wait,” he said, “Sophie forbade you to tell me? Why?”

“Honestly, she’s in a dark place right now. She blames herself.”

“Surely, she can’t do that.”

“She shouldn’t. There was nothing she did to bring this on, of course. It was just one of those awful things that happens.”

“Well, I need to talk to her. She needs to know not to blame herself. She?—“

“Give it some time. I don’t think she’s up to speaking.”

“That’s ridiculous, Maggie. I need to speak with her.”

“I think you do, too. I’m just warning you that she may not be open to it yet.”

“Okay, sure, yeah,” he said dismissively. It seemed impossible that Sophie wouldn’t speak to him at a time like this. “Thank you for letting me know. I, em, I’m going to try ringing her now.”

Maggie apologized once more before letting him go. Sophie’s cell went immediately to voicemail. Calling repeatedly didn’t change the result and he fell back in bed in frustration.

Why wouldn’t she want to speak to him now, at this most heartbreaking moment? His mind raced as he tried to sort out why she was blaming herself for this.

Take care of the baby.

Oh fuck. Those were the last words he’d spoken to her before leaving, before also telling her she’d destroyed anything they’d ever had.

That’s why she couldn’t bear to speak to him.

And that’s why he should force the issue and go to her.

But, even though he knew that was the right thing to do, he didn’t fling off the bedcovers and book a flight. Instead, he lay still because he knew that if he saw her in this state of brokenness, he’d be right back in their marriage. They’d pretend again like they did in those few days in Los Angeles that they could just brush past all the damage they’d done to each other. And that would just be repeating the ugly cycle they’d been stuck in for the last year.

Jesus, was that even important, though? Wasn’t it more important to be there for her? For them to be together to grieve this loss?

Without thinking any more about it, he tried her number again and was relieved to hear it ring.

“I’m so sorry, Gavin,” Sophie said as she answered, her voice croaky with tears and fatigue.

“Darlin’,” he said, “all that matters is you’re all right. Are you?”

“Will you come? Will you give us another chance?”

“Sophie, don’t let’s make it about us. I just want to know if you’re physically all right.”

There was a long silence and he worried she’d disconnected the call for a moment.

“I’m sorry. That’s all I can say,” came her whispered reply.

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