Page 30 of Tangled Up In You

He was silent, watching her for a long moment before his gaze fell away from hers.

“Oh,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

“This is why I’m desperate for you to stay on, Sophie,” he said and cupped her face in his hands. “I don’t know what we’ll become when we’re thousands of miles apart. All I know is you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved, and I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Are you saying that if we’re not together, you don’t want to stay in contact?”

“I’m saying, I need you. I need you to be with me, to not walk away.”

“If there was a way I could?—”

“There is. There is if you just break free from all those expectations you’re always trying to abide by.”

She pulled his hands from her face. “You don’t understand?—”

“No, I do. I get it. I get that you can only see your life playing out one way.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s not fair that I found the one person who knows me inside and out, and I’m destined to lose her.”

“You sound like you’re breaking up with me.”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“I guess I’m just facing the truth, that thing you know I hate to do. You’ll go home and I’ll go to London. You’ll be focused on school and I’m sure the guys will be all over you there.”

“And you’ll be focused on Rogue and all the girls at your shows?” She brought her knees up to her chest, suddenly feeling cold as the image of him with other girls overwhelmed her.

“What are we supposed to do, Sophie? You tell me how this works.”

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came to her.

“I don’t like it any more than you do,” he said. “But Felicity is right to be honest with it all. There’s no use in pretending that we can somehow make this work. I thought you’d have come to this conclusion before me.”

“I guess I just didn’t want to give up hope. Silly of me to think we could have a lasting connection.” She pushed the blanket off her and stood.

“Where are you going?”

“Down there.” She pointed to the sand and kept walking.

Her heart ached, and it was hard to breathe. The only thing she thought might help at that moment was the soothing rhythm of the ocean. She shook her head as she walked, realizing that the only time Gavin didn’t give in to denial was about the end of their relationship. She’d pretended so well with him all this time that they could last that she’d convinced herself it was true. And now he was the one to face the reality for both of them: when she left, they’d be completely over.

It hurt. It hurt so much that she wanted to fall to her knees and scream until the pain left her body.

Instead, Gavin wrapped his arms around her from behind, bracing her and not letting go.

“My darlin’. My sweet girl,” he whispered in her ear. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” He kissed her cheek. “Always.”

The tears fell from her eyes, and she tried to hold back her sobs. He held her tighter and let her cry. When she finally got control of herself, she turned around and kissed him, her mouth on his insistent and insatiable. She wanted everything she could have with him until they were over. He kissed her back with the same sense of urgency and it felt like the most bittersweet goodbye.

They made a spot for themselves on the sand. She leaned into him as he held her from behind, the blanket keeping them warm. They didn’t speak much but the hours passed, and the night changed, growing darker for a time before brightening with the dawn. The sun rose, painting the horizon in shades of pink and orange that contrasted with the deep blue sky above.

“Gorgeous, that,” Gavin said, looking out on the horizon. “But it doesn’t compare to your beauty.”

She squeezed his forearm and looked back at him. His handsome face was lit by a golden glow. He looked both resigned and happy, and she realized that all she could do was appreciate what they’d been lucky enough to find with each other and enjoy it while she could.

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