Page 83 of Tangled Up In You

They all agreed with Christian’s suggestion and soon were diving into seventy-five-degree ocean water that was just a short walk from the house. It was the perfect way to start their vacation.

The three-story whitewashedhouse had been lovingly co-designed by Christian and Patsy with the focus being on open spaces and ocean views. As impressive as it was, Sophie got the feeling that the most-used area of the house was the deck, as it had all the amenities of the indoors, including a built-in grill and stocked bar, a large seating area encircling a fire pit, and, of course, the prized ocean views. A large wooden pergola had a crisp linen canopy to provide some welcome shade in the daytime.

By the time they all finished dinner, it was dark and the air was mercifully cool. The evening had been filled with beer, fresh grilled fish and veggies, as well as overlapping and excited talk. Sophie mostly watched as the five members of Scandal and three of Rogue’s members went after each other with good-natured barbs. Even Shay was out of his shell and in the mix. They had toured together briefly before Rogue could claim many fans for themselves, and it was obvious they had all come out of it as good friends. Patsy graciously included Sophie in the conversation with the wives and girlfriends of the guys of Scandal, but she was mostly content to just to observe the rambunctious goings-on.

Finally, Christian stood up and told everyone to shut up. This was met with boos and “fuck offs” from several guys before everyone quieted down.

“It’s time now, mates,” Christian said, “for a very special treat. Let’s have a listen to Rogue’s second album. It’s called what?”

“That Need,” Gavin said, and was met with a chorus of “oohs” and howls.

Christian manipulated the sound system and the first song filled the night air at high volume through the outdoor speakers.

Sophie leaned into Gavin as “Return To You” began. She knew the subject matter was obvious enough—their reunion—but she thought Conor’s sharp guitar and Shay’s crisp drumming kept it from being too sentimental.

The following three songs, however, expressed darker themes relating to love. One was a brutally honest account of being the one to disappoint a lover. Sophie read this as a combination of Gavin’s guilt over having hurt her with his behavior at the Palladium gig and later over how he screwed up with Julia. Another explored the idea of love withheld as a byproduct of neglect, a song that took from Shay’s experiences growing up with woefully inadequate parents. Still another song was a bitter depiction of unreturned love, which she knew reflected Gavin’s ongoing struggle with his feelings about his mother’s abandonment.

Despite the band’s success in the past few years, Gavin had gotten away with his stock answer about his mother, saying he had “lost” her at a young age. If pressed, he admitted it was a car accident but then cut off any further prying. Reporters seemed to take the tragic story at face value and no one had delved deeper to find the truth.

Sophie wondered if Gavin was trying to call out to his mother with this album. She was either the subject or referenced several times, enough to be a key element in the unifying theme of pained love. His pride and insistence that she heal in her own time had kept him from hiring a private detective to search her out. But with this album, Sophie could see that this self-imposed restraint was eating away at him. His anger at what he had lost when his mother chose to leave her family was testing his life-long coping mechanisms.

The title song “That Need” lightened the mood. All of Scandal howled when Gavin sang the line “That need is deep inside of you/Exactly where I wanna be” with a sexy, husky intonation.

“Aw, what a fantastic pickup line, McManus!” Kerry, Scandal’s guitarist, shouted above the throbbing combination of Shay’s drums and Martin’s bass line. The pulsating rhythm was seductive and a perfect match for the sexually charged lyrics.

“The world needed another song to fuck to,” Gavin said unapologetically, and they roared with laughter.

Gavin was letting them think of the song in terms of the surface level, but Sophie knew he had really been acknowledging her need to be the one to save him, and his need to lean on her. They met perfectly in that place of need, each seeking and finding the other there.

Sophie watched the reactions of the others as the album continued and was happy to see that they all seemed to genuinely like the new material, making specific, positive comments about melody, guitar lines, drumming, or lyrics, and applauding after each song.

Finally, the closing song, “You’re My One,” started. The previous freewheeling chatter during the other songs ceased as everyone stilled. It was obvious upon first listen there was something special about this song. The air seemed to change as they absorbed the way Conor’s guitar evoked romantic longing. Then Gavin’s passionate, confident singing took over.

They all sat mute and motionless for thirty-seconds after the song ended with Gavin’s entreaty for his lover not to leave him, “to suffer the weight” of all he put upon her. Listening to the album, and especially the last song, had been an intense experience and they needed a way to come down from it.

“What a bleeding-heart romantic you are, McManus,” Christian finally yelled, to the delight of everyone else.

“Aw, I think it’s sweet. If only you’d stop shouting long enough to sing me a proper love song,” Patsy said with a wink to her husband.

“But sweetheart, I write love songs all the time. It’s my mates here who won’t have it.”

Christian's bandmates all objected at once, claiming that they adored romantic love songs.

The next couple of hours passed in the same high-spirited way, with plenty of alcohol fueling loud talk. The two bands traded tour stories and took every opportunity to harass each other. Scandal mocked Rogue for their instant fame, and Rogue mocked Scandal for their legion of incredibly intense fans.

It was late in the evening when Sophie noticed that Conor was no longer among them on the deck. She had come to see that he had loner tendencies, as he often disappeared from gatherings, but it didn’t seem right that he would leave like this on their first night together.

48

SOPHIE

Sophie went to the deck railing and could just make out Conor’s figure down at the beach. He was standing ankle deep in the water, smoking what she knew was not a cigarette.

It was futile to wait for a break in the rapid-fire conversation to tell Gavin she was going to take a walk, so she simply slipped away unnoticed.

“Hey,” she said as she came upon Conor.

He was slow to respond, his eyes trained on the water. “Hey.”

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