Page 46 of My Only Luna

“No, you were just trying your best. I really don’t hold you accountable. I mean, I could have told you too,” I answer. She nods.

I know you would have believed me, Mama. I just wanted to protect you. Because you are still broken...

But once again, I’m unable to say it out loud.

“I wish you did honey, but you did it to protect me, when you didn’t need to, you were so little. I’ll always blame myself for what happened. I should have done better. I loved you from the moment you were born. I thought maybe you would be the one to thaw his heart. But a monster can’t change. When I found out I was pregnant with Indigo, I was terrified he’d do something, and as much as I didn’t want to bring another child into his world, I had no option. He controlled everything.” Her eyes are hollow, and I stand up, walking around the table and wrap my arms around her shoulders.

“And you did the bravest thing you could to protect us by walking away.”

The kitchen door opens, and Indigo stands there. “What are you two doing?” she asks, narrowing her eyes.

I smirk. “Jealous?”

“Oh please, no. I mean, you stole my brother already,” she adds slyly.

“He’s still your brother.”

“Yeah, true.” She grins at me. I move back as Mama motions her over and takes hold of my wrist, motioning for me to sit beside her. Indigo comes over and sits on the table on Mama’s other side.

“What is it? I just came for biscuits.” She crosses her arms.

“Well, nothing really. I just want the both of you to know that I love you both equally. And yes, even when I was harder on you, Scarlett, it didn’t mean I loved you less,” Mama says softly. Our eyes meet and her eyes say it as clearly as they possibly could. She’s telling the truth.

“Yeah, yeah, we know,” Indigo answers, wrinkling her nose.

“I know you do,” I reply, hugging Mama again. She rests her head on my shoulder, and we fall silent. She holds Indigo’s hand, the other one resting on my arm.

“Wow, did I miss some intense heart-to-heart?” Indigo asks.

“Not really. It kinda starts now; so tell us, anything on your mind that you want to share?”

Her smile drops at my question, her heartbeat quickening. She pulls free from Mama’s hold, twisting her sleeve between her fingers.

“Well… some memories came back…” she whispers, her eyes full of fear and guilt.

“From your childhood?” I ask quietly.

She nods. “I’m sorry. So damn sorry.”

I cock a brow; she was a little child when we came to this pack. “What are you sorry about?”

“I remember you being dragged away. You begging to be let go, and he started kicking you and I kept crying and you told me to-”

“To go and hide…”

She nods, her eyes glistening with tears. “Yeah… I somehow blocked it out just like most of my memories, but the other day it came back. If I hadn’t shut it out and told Mama then-”

“Nothing would have been different; Zidane wasn’t going to stop. He didn’t care,” I answer softly, hoping she understands.

“But I also have these memories of you always telling me to hide or run. You took my share of beatings,” she whispers her voice cracking.

“Because I could handle it. It’s in the past, come on, let’s just forget it and promise we’ll talk about stuff going forward,” I suggest offering her my hand.

She looks at it before she nods, placing her hand against mine before threading her fingers with mine and giving it a squeeze. “Sure, but doesn’t mean I’m going to stop picking on you,” she adds.

I smirk. “Glad to hear it, brat.”

“Witch.”

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