Page 49 of Creed

She looked at the building sight for a moment then turned her head and captured my eyes once more, except that time they were filled with unshed tears. I felt like I was beinggutted and those tears suddenly made me feel a wave of nausea that quickly passed. That was when I realized the look of trauma and grief in her eyes made me physically ill. I had to build the walls she was slowly tearing down back up before I let the lustful attraction I felt toward her take over. I never wanted a woman as bad as I wanted Morgan Rossi. Shit, Morgan fucking Rossi of all people. The last woman on earth I ever should have been lusting over. The very example of the type of person I tried to avoid at all costs. She was rich, famous, and…fuck…those things weren’t what made her who she was. She wasn’t like other people from my mom’s circle. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I was looking in those eyes and what they were silently telling me was the last thing I wanted to realize. Morgan Rossi was not Hollywood. She was everything I loved about women with a side of something more that drove me fucking insane. Fuck! Was it manipulation? Was I just falling for whatever she was trying to sell me?

“I guess maybe you’re right.” She said.

Fuck yeah I was right. The next thing that came to mind was putting Addie in bed then helping Morgan through those emotions in the form of hot sweaty sex where she would cry out my name in ecstasy. I could only imagine that she would be almost too tight, wet and so fucking warm I’d never want to pull out of her. Jesus, what if those tits were real? It took everything I had in me not to grab her face and slam my lips against hers just to get a small taste of her.

“Creed, are you okay?” She asked.

I realized I was gripping on to the steering wheel and my jaw was so tightly clenched it became painful. I had no answer and tried way too damn hard not to tell her I wanted to pull her into my arms and everything I could to give her the comfort she needed, then slide my dick inside…fuck! I couldn’t even keep anysort of sanity long enough to answer with a real fucking reply. Then another reality hit me. The woman I was lusting after was almost murdered less than forty eight hours prior and a rage came over me. I could see bruises and noticed she would wince at times when she moved. She was trying to be brave and strong while all I could do was lust over her.

“Oh gosh, you’re not having one of those flashbacks veterans get, are you? I am so sorry. I’ve sat here and had my own pity party but didn’t think how talking about such emotional things might hurt you. You’re helping me and I’m being so selfish.”

She thought she was selfish? She was pouring her heart out while I got lost in thoughts I had no business having.

“No, I’m not and I don’t have those the way you think. I’m fine, I was just thinking of how much…well…what it was like finding Addie the other night. I’m just dealing with some anger, sorry.” It wasn’t a total lie.

I’ve experienced and witnessed a lot of things in my lifetime. Kids being blown up, my buddies bleeding to death in a warzone, Bolton being raped, being held captive, being beat until an inch of my life, but nothing haunted me more than the hollow lost look in my father’s eyes after Nicole Powers ripped him of his soul. He allowed a woman to ruin his life, and he was stuck as a single dad. Things could have been different for him after she left. He could have left me with nannies and sent me off to boarding school in Europe. Instead, my dad was there for every milestone. He stopped living for himself and dedicated his life to me, then I ripped his heart out. I never understood it until I held little Addie all night as she whimpered and cried for her mother. It was all fucking with my head, and I couldn’t get anything straight. Then I looked at a woman who was in reality a stranger,and I experienced some kind of need I couldn’t understand. Ever since I felt her presence on that fucking plane, I hadn’t been right in the head. Something had to give, and I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was I had a certain motorcycle gang to deal with, but after that I could somewhat go back to my life as I knew it. Addie though, well that little girl would be a weight I carried in my chest for the rest of my life. Just like everything else, I would just have to learn to live with that weight. Holding her all night and comforting her made me feel like the most important person on earth. I was needed by a little girl, and I couldn’t have ripped myself away from her if I tried. It felt like the most important mission of my life.

“Okay. So, what do you want to show me next?” Morgan asked.

My dick! “Well, you’ve pretty much seen it all. If you’re hungry we can hit the mess hall. Unless you don’t feel like being around people. I can always order dinner and have Felicity deliver it.”

She rolled her eyes. “Those are the only two options?”

“I heard about Felicity this morning.” I said in a sigh. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. Felicity can be very insecure at times, but she’s not a bad person. She’s been to hell and back, so she’s somewhat protective of the life she has found in this community. She will warm up to you when she realizes you’re not a threat to her.” At least I hoped Morgan wasn’t a threat.

“Well, I thought about it, and I may have instigated some of it. I’m very selective who I spend my time around and I judged the girls living here. It’s just hard for me because I’ve been fooled more than once to trust someone then they run off to the tabloids to make money off me. Before I figured out they weren’t actually being paid for sex, my gut feeling told me if they werewilling to sell their bodies for money, they’d sell my story for money as well. I shouldn’t have talked down to her like I did.”

What she said suddenly caused a wave of understanding to hit me. She was right, and despite the fact that she was spoiled, she probably wasn’t as snobby as I believed. Maybe people confuse snobbishness with how she was guarded and cautious for good reason. She tried to explain it before but it all became suddenly clear. She was constantly in protective mode.

“We could hit the commissary and maybe get some groceries.” I suggested. “I’m sure you don’t want to hit the mess hall or order food morning, noon, and night.”

Her eyes suddenly lit up. “Yes! That’s a great idea. I’ll make dinner tonight. That’ll help distract me and I can get the supplies I need to do some baking when I’m alone at your place. Baking can sometimes be like therapy for me.”

Sudden Trust

Morgan

The commissary was nothing like I pictured. It was better than any local grocery. Not one person took my photo, but I was greeted with smiles and kindness. It felt weird being able to grocery shop without flashing cameras and rude interruptions. Creed knew everyone and introduced me to several people. All in all, it was a good experience. How sad was it that something as simple as going to the grocery store brought me a little joy? Even in Clarity I was asked for autographs and selfies. People took photos of me doing simple things like trying to enjoy a meal out. I didn’t always mind them, but it was when I couldn’t finish what I was doing and had to leave a place to end the chaos that was annoying.

Creed pushed the shopping cart as I threw one thing after another in it. The place seemed much larger on the inside than on the outside. They had everything and a lot of it came from local farmers. I could tell from the white butchers paper the meat was wrapped in that it was fresh from the farm. The fruit and vegetables had imperfections, and I knew they came from a local orchard and from local gardens. I piled the cart full then Creed parked it, and I filled another.

They even had all the supplies I needed to make my famous pies. I pictured myself taking Addie to the grocery like my mom would take me when I was little. It was too bad I didn’t have a skill Creed needed so I could have lived in the community and raised Addie with all the protections Creed’s Lake offered.

“Are you going to leave anything for anyone else?” Creed chuckled.

“Don’t you understand how amazing this is? I can bring Addie with me to the grocery and not worry about what creep is taking photos of us.” My heart sank and I looked up at Creed. “I don’t want to raise her in the spotlight. I need her to have at least a semi normal childhood filled with friends and people she can trust. How long after quitting acting do you think it will be when we can live normal lives?”

The look he gave me didn’t give me much hope. “I really don’t know.”

I smiled over my temporary haven. “I feel normal right now, so let’s get on with it and I’ll make you the best home-cooked meal you’ve ever had in your life.”

At checkout we arguedoverwho was paying. Once I shut up for a minute and allowed him to explain, I finally understood that I couldn’t pay. They didn’t use cash or bank cards. Everything was charged to the head of households account and paid monthly. Then I threw a fit and demanded my own account, but he wanted to argue about that as well. When we walked outside with our two carts I realized we only had the side by side. But then, Creed led me to a truck where a young man stood next to the drivers side door waiting. He couldn’t have been more than college age, and then I saw it. He had burns all down one side of his face and his arm.

“Morgan, this is Max Gunter, he’s a prospect we recruited about six months ago. He’s still earning privileges and that’s why we call him a prospect. For right now, he runs errands and will be taking our groceries home.”

I stuck my hand out and shook his. “I’m honored to meet you, and thank you for your service to our country.”

He seemed a bit nervous. “Yeah, umm wow. I mean…” He stumbled for words. “Beautiful.” He whispered and Creed didn’t seem too happy.

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