Page 77 of Creed

I giggled. “The big guy? Do you mean Creed?”

She pointed at him in front of her. “Da big guy. Not like daddy or Caleb. Him.” She continued to point. “He helped me save mommy and Auntie Morgan.”

My heart broke.

“Mommy went to heaben anyway.”

Creed was driving but kept looking in the rear view mirror at us.

“Daddy went too, but Uncle Caleb said he take of me too, but he didn’t come help me either.” She looked so sad, but I was a bit surprised she was so talkative.

I decided to lighten the mood. “Guess what?” I tried to look really excited, and she just tilted her head as she looked at me.

“Uncle Creed said that since you’ve been such a good girl, we can stop at McDonald’s for lunch in a little bit. Are you excited?”

She nodded really big. “Da big guy eat too?”

“Yes, and we’ll even get a happy meal!”

She giggled. “I think da big guy needs a lot of them!”

I laughed. “Yeah, I don’t think a happy meal will be enough for him.”

I pulled out my tote bag and offered her the coloring book and crayons. We chose a page and worked on it together. She had a big girl car seat, and it had a drink holder, so she enjoyed an apple juice until we made it just south of Indianapolis. When Creed unhooked her seatbelt, she reached for him and wrapped her arms around his neck. After he pulled her out she wrapped her legs around him and held on for dear life. She wouldn’t let go until we had her food and sat down. She did the same thing when it was time to leave. Creed’s men watched over us as we ate lunch, not allowing any fans to approach me, then we got back into the car to head toward home.

When we were eating, Creed told Addie all about home. He told her she had her own bedroom, and we lived in a safe neighborhood where there were other kids. I thought there was a chance she would know a few from school, but I wasn’t certain.

She fell asleep not long after lunch. I couldn’t help but watch her as she slept. Her little mouth hung open, and herglasses slid down her nose. I made a mental note to make an appointment with a children’s eye doctor and I already talked to Zoey about a physical. She suggested we wait until just before school started. That she probably had one and the least amount of professionals right away would be best. Valerie suggested easing Addie into the community at first. Maybe just let her warm up to me and Creed for a few days before introducing anyone new. I ran my fingers through her hair as she slept. It wasn’t like a scene from a fairytale, my girl had her jaw wide open, and some drool escaped, while she snored a little every once in a while.

Creed looked in his rear view mirror. “She snores a little every once in a while. She did that when she slept in my arms that night in the hospital.”

“Maybe that’s something I should tell Zoey.” I was a little concerned.

“I don’t think it’s anything to worry about, but if it makes you feel better go ahead. They aren’t big snores, and she doesn’t pause breathing. I think she’s fine. It could also be the way she’s sleeping sitting up that way, it’s how she was when I was holding her in that chair that night.”

That made me feel a little better. When we arrived home, Creed picked her up and carried her inside. “I guess you could lay her in her bed.” I wasn’t sure where she would want to take her nap.

“No, I’ll keep her just like this but sit in the living room. I don’t want her to wake up alone while the house is still strange to her. Her room is foreign to her, but I guess I’m not. I can’t believe she remembers me.” He whispered.

“I’ll bring in her backpack, but will take her clothes to the laundry room.” I was sure her new clothes were clean, but the idea that they came from a home I didn’t know made me want to wash them.

After that, I leaned against the wall and quietly watched Creed with Addie. My heart was breaking. I wanted and needed Creed, but was it fair to let them bond then make Addie say goodbye? I had a lot to think about and a few decisions to make.

Faith

Creed

Have faith. That was what I told myself constantly since I got the news.

As I held Addie on my chest I felt her tiny little breaths. The girl slept as if she hadn’t slept in years. She was totally out, dead weight, not a sign of life except those tiny little breaths. She was sweating, so I asked Morgan to go into my bedroom and get my fan. Yes, my bedroom, one of the off limit places. Also, the place I laid sleepless every night since Morgan came to stay with me.

Morgan…damn if I didn’t make it back they could say one thing about me that I knew would be true. I had a hell of a lot of restraint. Earlier, she was leaning against a wall watching Addie sleep, but had no idea how many times I pictured my body pressed against hers on that same wall. I imagined wrapping her hair up in my fist to turn her head up so those lips were readily awaiting mine. I imagined my body on top of hers on almost every surface of the house.

I never made that move, never placed a soft kiss on those lips, never ran my hands over those perfect fucking curves, and never got to hear my name whispered between heavy breaths.Why? Because I wasn’t an asshole. At least not that kind of asshole.

What kind of man would I have been to do that while she was living her darkest days? She was almost murdered, witnessed the most horrific act of a psychopath, making funeral arrangements, grieving, and getting Addie out of foster care. Not to mention the fact that I had some things to tell her that she wouldn’t have liked and would have made her worry.

I didn’t choose the day of Addie coming home by choice. The news of the tour came the prior night, and Morgan had gone to bed. It wasn’t the kind of news I thought I should hide a minute longer than necessary, but it needed to be done before Addie made it home.

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