Page 19 of What Alex Wants…He Gets

“I told you the other day, there isn’t that much to tell.” I kind of felt guilty that I wasn’t sharing everything, but I still had mixed feelings about the whole thing. Filling a fantasy was one thing, not knowing anything about the two men was another. Not that I thought Zia would ever judge me. Not long after her divorce, she’d had a few interesting adventures, to say the least.

I still smiled when I thought about her fling with a certain movie star when she’d spent a summer abroad with her film crew.

“You’re full of shit you know that?” She grabbed a slice of her own and flung herself down into one of my chairs. “It was the Glass Kat. I may not have ever been through those hallowed doors, but I know exactly the kind of thing that happens there. And you, young lady, are lying through your pretty white teeth.”

I smiled like I did harbor a secret, because we both knew I did.

“I still can’t believe you didn’t get his name though. I can’t decide if that’s the sexiest damn thing or the most disturbing thing I’ve ever heard. Hot sex with a complete stranger does have a certain appeal. No pressure. No expectations. One night and it’s done. It’s the perfect way to scratch an itch and was just what you needed.”

She had no idea.

“So what’s next? Are you finally going to get serious about putting yourself out there now? Maybe some dating. I happen to know a couple of good candidates.”

I groaned. “Oh God, no. I am not going on any arranged dates or anything else like that. I’m pretty sure I used up my luck on Valentine’s Day. Besides, it’s only been a week for cripes sake. I think I deserve a buffer before you start planning out the rest of my love life.” And I still needed some time to process last week’s adventure. Until I could get my mystery man out of my head I did not need to meet someone else.

Not that I blamed her for trying. She was a good friend and that’s what friends did for each other. They wanted them to be happy and for Zia that meant me finding someone who cared about me and happened to be really good in bed. That was a high criteria on her list of boyfriend qualities.

Well, I couldn’t give her a rating on my mystery man. Not in the truest sense because it wasn’t him I’d fucked. That had belonged to the equally mysterious Jeremy who I hadn’t even seen. I could still hear his voice though. A shiver worked over me. That deep, dark caress of sexiness wouldn’t be forgotten anytime soon.

I fought a smile. Otherwise I’d have more explaining to do.

There was also the matter of my past that I’d left a huge chunk of the details out of the story I’d told Zia. I couldn’t tell her the real ugly truth.

Not that it had started out that way. Not to me anyway. When I’d met Bill he was everything. Beautiful, smart, mature and really into me. I couldn’t believe then that the new substitute history teacher at my high school, who I had a massive crush on from day one, could possibly have feelings for me as well. Or that we’d end up dating in secret my entire senior year.

God, I’d been so naïve. And a virgin. Apparently that had been the most important thing and the whole reason he was drawn to me.

Bill had admired that about me. While every other girl I was friends with back then had already found a way to lose theirs, he’d said I was special for protecting mine. For nine long months we met in secret. Sometimes it was in the back of a darkened theater in the city, where he would kiss me senseless for two hours. Or on the rare occasions when we had more time, we’d go hiking in the woods where he patiently taught me what it was like to get on my knees and suck his dick.

There were rules for it of course. I always had to keep my hands crossed in my lap so that I never touched him with more than my mouth. My eyes had to remain closed the entire time so that I kept my focus on the love that flowed between us more than the physical act. I never understood that one and had I been a little more worldly at the time instead of an infatuated idiot, I might have seen some of the warning signs.

I also couldn’t touch myself. That was strictly forbidden the entire time we dated. I broke that rule once and Bill introduced me to his belt.

I was supposed to hate it, I knew I was. He was punishing me for breaking his rules. Instead I was excited from the moment he made me pull up my skirt and push down my panties. He didn’t go easy on me either so that doesn’t explain why I found it so exciting. Maybe it was the desperation I’d been feeling from feeling deprived. It didn’t matter. All I know is that day I went home with red welts on my ass, swollen eyes from my tears, and so much joy in my heart I thought it would burst.

What I couldn’t have known at the time was it would be the last time I felt that good with Bill Bennett.

The following week he showered me with gifts and apologies for his behavior. This unfortunately led to confusion and shame on my part. If he was sorry for spanking me, then my enjoyment of it must be very very wrong.

The seed of doubt about myself and the horrible kind of person I must be was planted that week and it quickly began to grow.

Two weeks later I graduated from high school and turned eighteen. Bill announced I was finally ready for him as a woman, but first we had to get married. He whisked me off to the justice of the peace that same day, we were married along with ten other couples and that was that.

No romantic proposal, no pretty dress or flowers. Just I Dos in front of a sea of strangers and with the flourish of a pen, I was Mrs. Bill Bennett.

“Earth to Harper. Are you listening?”

Zia’s question pulled me out of the past and back into the present. I blinked a few times and took a deep breath of relief. That part of my life was over and I was never going back.

But remembering those days made it a whole lot easier to understand why one night with a mystery man was enough. I didn’t know him, but he didn’t know me either. It was actually kind of perfect if you thought about it. All fun, no mess. The last thing I needed in my life were entanglements. Especially with two men.

“Yeah, I’m listening,” I finally answered. “Although I’m ignoring you for good reason.” I straightened in my chair and leveled a serious look at my friend. “I know you mean well, but you need to hear me when I say this this time. I am NOT looking for a new man in my life. I’m just not. I’m so busy with keeping up with the demand at the dessert bar and now I’ve gotten more catering jobs, I need to focus on that for now. I know you understand this.”

“But—”

I cut her off because I already knew where she was going. “Trust me. If I get the itch, I’m going to scratch it. I like sex too much to totally ignore it.”

Zia laughed. “Truth! But I’m still going to keep asking you about the Glass Kat. I’ve heard so much about the infamous place.”

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