Page 36 of What Alex Wants…He Gets

Chapter Twelve

Harper

I setdown the spatula and leaned over the counter. Air. I needed air. The normal peace I’d always derived from working in a kitchen had abandoned me today. Oh who was I kidding? It had abandoned me days ago.

When I’d awoken the morning after my date with Alex to find an empty bed except for a sweet note thanking me for a perfect night underneath my new rose crop, I’d started to rebuild the walls Alex had torn down. Two nights of bliss didn’t make a lifetime of happiness. I of all people knew better than to believe in those kind of fairy tales.

If only I could get the clawing hunger deep inside me to settle back down. Alex had apparently awoken a monster inside me and I didn’t know how to make it go away short of giving in to him again.

Not that I’d received any kind of official invitation or anything…

Although there was the option to return to the Glass Kat. I wasn’t a member, but I’d been granted a thirty-day temporary membership on behalf of my date that night. I could go…

Fortunately, I’d been strapped with several last minute catering jobs that had me working late into the night since then. My choice had been made for me courtesy of my job. So much for getting a life.

So instead I’d thought long and hard over everything Alex had said to me that night (agonized really) and when I searched my soul it always came back to the fact that despite our night alone, my Valentine fantasy had only been that. A fantasy. Two men was not something I wanted to live out on a regular basis.

Maybe one day I’d search for a dominant man who understood my particular limits.

I wanted to be a one-dominant woman. Two was more than a simple girl like me could handle. I just didn’t have it in me to be the kind of woman that Alex and Jeremy clearly needed.

Unfortunately, knowing it and living it were two very different things. Every time I closed my eyes or took a breath for that matter, I was reminded of Alex. The impossible dream. Zia had been on my case to answer his calls but I’d adamantly refused.

Even seeing him one more time would make things worse. Once my decision was made I had to treat the situation like a band-aid. Just rip it off or in this case, simply not communicate. Eventually he’d get the message and move on to someone more to his tastes and someday I’d get over him too.

Right?

Tears leaked from my eyes. God I hoped so but today it felt impossible. How in the hell did this happen? One week and I’d fallen into what? Lust? Love?

With it plaguing my every waking moment and even the dreams when I slept, it felt more like an addiction. I wasn’t a lovesick schoolgirl. I’d learned my lesson the last time.

I picked up a knife and started chopping apples for a new tart. I stabbed at the poor fruit like a woman too close to the edge.

If it wasn’tfor the work, I’d have probably stayed in bed long enough for the pain to ease. As it was, I’d gone to work mere hours after Alex’s departure with a deliciously sore ass and some incredible memories and been here since.

“Harper, there’s someone here to see you.” Jesse’s voice shook me from my thoughts.

I stared up at the girl that ran the front counter as if looking at something I couldn’t comprehend.

“What? Who?” Suspicion and fear consumed me. If Alex had come to see me I doubted I could deny him in person. Everything was still too fresh. The memories, the pleasure, the pain…Need gripped my stomach and made it twist into a painful knot.

As ridiculous as this was, I couldn’t see him now. It would kill me.

Jessie shrugged. “I don’t know. Some cop. You in some kind of trouble?”

My head jerked up. “A cop? For me?” A new kind of fear stabbed through me. Had they finally found me? Oh God, why now?

I wiped my hands on my apron, stalling as I dug for anything, any excuse or idea that would get me the hell out of this situation. I could not go back there. It had taken too long and too many hours of therapy to get past all of that.

I stared at the backdoor and contemplated my odds of escape. I was in no shape for a mad dash down the busy streets of New York in the middle of rush hour, nor was I prepared to face police wrath if I tried to run and got caught.

Whatever the outcome, they couldn’t take me to jail, right?

First they didn’t believe me. Then they blamed me. Then they said I had to testify or they’d charge me as an accessory.

Fuck. This was a goddamned mess. I needed to call Zia and confess. Tell her I’d need a good lawyer. No court appointed knuckle head could get me out of this.

“Harper? Are you coming?” The suspicious look on Jessie’s face made my choice clear. I had to face this head on. They could do whatever they wanted to me as long as they didn’t try to send me back to North Carolina. I was never going back.

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