Page 36 of Piece By Piece

Shit, I forgot how paranoid she could get. I head toward her to try and calm her but my father’s hand on my shoulder stops me. I look at him and he shakes his head. “You’ve done enough for today, honey. I got this,” he tries to tell me.

But he looks so tired that leaving now is not an option. “What happened with the light?” I ask.

“Your mother usually takes care of the bills. I didn’t even think that she might forget to pay. They shut off the electricity,” he replies. With every word he speaks, the pressure in my chest builds.

“They can’t do that. You can’t be here without lights. Shit, and I just stocked up the fridge. The food will go bad. Give me the company’s number, I’ll call them,” I insist, trying to keep my panic in check.

My father doesn’t fight me on it and gives me their number. I disappear into another room to get away from my mother’s yelling and call them. Luckily, they pick up. I tell them my name and explain that the electricity here just wentout. Then I ask them if I can pay instantly and get the power back now.

“I’m sorry, miss. We can only grant you the services after we received the payment,” they tell me. Tears of frustration clog my throat.

“No, you don’t understand. I have food in the fridge that will go bad. Please, I have a lot going on right now and I must have missed the bills you sent me. Please, I just spent the majority of my money on this food, I can’t let it go to waste.

“You will receive my payment by tomorrow morning. Just shut the power back on until tomorrow. If you don’t have my money until then, you can shut it off again. Please.” I beg them, not giving a single fuck about how pathetic I sound.

The person on the other side sighs. “Okay, miss, I’ll see what I can do but if the payment is still open tomorrow, there’s nothing I can do to help you,” she tells me. I thank her too many times until she finally ends the call.

Then I fall back to the ground, sobbing openly in the privacy of this dark room. It’s only when the lights turn on again and my mother’s screams cut off that I can breathe easily again. Good, all I need to do now is get home and wait for the company to mail me the bill. And somehow manage to pay it on top of my own bills that will come in next week.

Then, I’ll sleep. I really, really hope I can sleep tonight.

I survived Christmas at my parent’s place. I somehow managed to pay all the bills of the month. The only thing I completely forgot about was my best friend’s birthday.

Apart from exchanging a few messages with Andrew, I didn’t contribute anything to the party that will be thrown for her tonight. Not a single thing. The two of us won’t be spending all day together and I didn’t even get her a present.

Christ, I’m the worst friend on this planet. First, I don’t see her for three weeks. Then, I ditch her on Christmas and now I show up at her party without a present.

It doesn’t even end there. Now, with three hours left until I have to be in a room full of strangers and my few friends, I’m crying about the fact that I have to go at all. I made the mistake of looking in the mirror twenty minutes ago and at the sight of the dark, dark circles under my eyes and the horror that is my unwashed hair, I just broke down. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

I have no energy to socialize, and I’m scared I’ll ruin Lily’s party. I’m a fucking mess.

After another ten minutes of wallowing in self-pity, I force myself to take a shower as I listen to my usual party preparation music. It doesn’t do the trick. I feel just as discouraged when I step out of the shower.

Still, I force myself to get ready. It takes a while but, in the end, I look presentable, at least. Almost like I usually would. At least my dark circles are covered so no one will ask me about them. I’m a sensitive mess at the moment, and I’m scared that any reference that might remind me of my current situation will make me break down.

I just hope tonight will serve as a distraction.

When my doorbell rings and I come face to face with a radiant Lily, I feel like a fraud. Still, I pull her into a tight hug and wish her a happy birthday. “I’m sorry I didn’t organize more or got you a present. I’m begging for a delay,” I try to joke, even though I don’t find my failure funny in the least. Of course, my best friend isn’t aware ofthe details of what’s going on with my parents. It’s the one courtesy I offered her since the mess exploded in my face, but she doesn’t know that.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. You’ll never guess what Andrew got me!” she exclaims, thrusting forwards her arm to present me with a brilliant bracelet.

“Jesus Christ, tell me those aren’t diamonds,” I say, forgetting myself momentarily and sounding almost disgusted. I catch myself quickly and force my most convincing smile back into place. “He’s spoiling you!” I add.

Lily is undeterred. “I know. He’s horrible,” she jokes. Meanwhile, I’m still staring at the bracelet as bitterness poisons my veins. What a waste of money. It must be nice to have such a fortune to spare on a trinket.

Hating where my thoughts are headed, I force myself to set my mind straight and remember that this is my best friend. I should be happy that she has a boyfriend that does so much for her. Sure, materialistic things might not carry much value to me, but one of Lily’s love languages is exchanging gifts. It makes my lack thereof so much worse.

“Okay, let’s go down now. The boys are waiting,” she says and starts pulling me away. I only barely manage to lock my door before she’s rushing toward the elevator with me in tow.

“Where are we going, by the way?” I ask her on our way down.

She frowns at that. “You don’t know? Andrew told me you helped organize it all,” she says.

“I did, but more when it comes to the details,” I try to cover up quickly. It’s not really untrue since I did give Andrew some tips about decoration and cake and such, allthe things a lifelong best friend knows better than a partner ever could.

“Okay, then. Well, he actually rented a clubhouse near campus. I think half the school will be there,” she tells me excitedly.

“Oh, and they’re all coming just for you,” I tease. She laughs and shoves me.

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