Page 40 of Piece By Piece

Instead of sitting down next to her, I take a seat on my carpet so I can look at her. Before I speak, I take hold of her hand again. She grasps my fingers tightly and shuts her eyes, squeezing two tears from the corner of her eyes.

“Can we please talk about it?” I ask slowly. For a long second, she doesn’t reply. Finally, she sighs deeply and nods, keeping her eyes closed.

“Lily did cocaine,” she says, choking on the words. Then she shakes her head. “Why? Why would she do that? She knows what drugs do. She knows,” her voice trails off.

“Maybe it just happened in the heat of the moment. A one-time thing. It doesn’t have to mean she’ll do it again, Aliena,” I try to console her. It’s clear she’s worried about Lily.

She finally opens her eyes and moves into a sitting position. “No. It never stays a one-time thing. Never. She of all people should know what stuff like that can do to a person.” She tilts her head back as she speaks, trying to keep more tears at bay and it’s killing me slowly.

“Why?” I ask. “Why does she know that of all people?” I feel like I’m missing pieces of the puzzle here but she just shakes her head.

“I can’t tell you. But she knows. She knows I can’t do this. Not with her too.”

With her too?I have no idea what we’re talking about. “Is this related to what’s been troubling you recently?” I ask slowly. A pained sound escapes her and she pulls her kneesto her chest but doesn’t reply other than that. I try to silently get the pieces together but I’m still missing something.

I sigh. “I’ll be right back. I’ll get you a glass of water, okay?” I ask, slowly rising to my feet. She nods.

When I return with it, she quickly takes a few sips and then sighs, opening her eyes. “Thanks. My throat hurt so badly,” she tells me.

“I figured.” I put the glass down on the small table behind me and get on the couch next to her, taking her hand.

She understands what I’m asking for without needing to hear the words again. “My mother was an addict,” she finally shares, startling me. Of all the things I was expecting, I never would have guessedthat. Aliena quickly goes on. “She’s not dead but she got sober,” she explains but her voice is getting thicker again.

I return her glass to her and she takes another sip before cradling it in her lap. “She was sober. For years. But she relapsed recently. That’s what’s been going on.” She takes her hand from mine and buries her face in it.

“And my dad lost his job because he had a heart attack and I’m pretty sure my mom lost hers now too, and I’ve been trying to help but I can’t do enough. I don’t know how to help my mom and simply being there isn’t working. I’ve been visiting them almost every evening to cook and clean but now she stopped paying their bills and my dad can’t find a new job and I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to make it work but I can’t do it. It feels like I can’t breathe.” She shakes her head, dropping it further forward into her hand.

“I take on as many shifts at the nursing home as they’ll allow but it’s not working. It doesn’t pay enough. God, and you’re right, I lost weight because I can’t afford to eatanymore. I have to buy so many groceries for them that I can’t stock up on my own.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do it. If things don’t change, I’ll have to stop renting my apartment and move back in with them.” She hiccups and bites the back of her hand. “I don’t ever want to live there again.” A tremor takes hold of her, visibly making her quake.

Fucking hell, she’s falling apart, and I have no idea what to do to help. All I know is that I can’t stand the sight of her shaking shoulders anymore, so I lean forward and awkwardly pull her into a hug. She returns it this time, moving to climb on my lap and wrapping her arms around my waist as her face presses against my chest.

My own insides are twisting and turning. I feel fucking helpless.

“I’m sorry,” she mutters when I don’t speak for too long. She tries to pull away, but I tighten my arms around her.

“Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong,” I assure her, stroking the back of her head gently. When I brush against her unraveling ponytail, I start working on getting the tie out.

“I’m such a mess,” she adds in despair. I shake my head against her.

“No, Sweetheart. You’re just overwhelmed and that’s completely understandable. It’s too much, Aliena. Everything you’ve been doing is way too much for one person alone to handle. I’m so sorry I didn’t know about this sooner.”

“I did it before. When I was a fucking child. If only there weren’t so many bills,” she cries softly. I feel my brows draw closer at that but don’t push it now. I can dwell on every word she said later. For now, I need to stay focused.

“I can help you. You should have come to me sooner,” I tell her.

“I won’t accept your money,” she protests instantly. Stubborn thing. She’d rather work herself into an early grave than accept my help. Good thing money isn’t the only thing I have to offer.

“We can talk about that later,” I tell her but she’s insistent.

“We don’t have to. My reply will stay the same.” She pulls away a few inches to look at me. “I won’t accept your money.”

“Okay. Move in with me then,” I tell her. She recoils almost comically.

“What? You’re crazy,” she exclaims. But at least there’s a hint of life in her voice, her outrage palpable, and it makes me smile.

“I’m not crazy. I have the space, do I not? Plus, you already have a room here. It wouldn’t be a big deal and you could save some money without the additional rent and groceries.” I can tell she wants to keep arguing but I stop her by holding up a hand. “We can talk about all of that tomorrow. For now, just tell me what I can do to make you feel better.”

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