Page 44 of Piece By Piece

Then he drops onto the bed next to me, saying, “Much better.” He pats the space right next to him and opens his arms invitingly. Like he wants me to cuddle up to him again. “Come back, now, will you?”

I stare at him. “Just go back to sleep, Seb. I should start my day,” I tell him seriously even though I’m tempted to ignore all that for a few more hours in his arms. His smile fades and he shakes his head.

“When’s the last time you got a full eight hours of sleep?” he asks.

“No one needs that many hours,” I protest instead of replying. Truth is, I have no idea when that could have been.

He gives me a look. “What about six hours?” I just roll my eyes. “Aliena, when’s the last time you slept?” he repeats.

“Just now,” I huff. “It’s about quality, not quantity and these three hours just now were great. Really relaxing.”

“Good, let’s repeat it now,” he argues, patting the mattress again. My restraint is slipping through my fingers, my arguments dying on my lips. Still, I hesitate because I already granted myself such a long break from reality and I’m scared to drag it out. I don’t even remember the last time I checked my phone. It must’ve been at the party at some point.

I’m sure Lily texted me by now and my heart beats a little heavier at the thought. I’m afraid to have received a message from my best friend. I just really, really don’t know what to say to her.

Sure, Sebastian was right last night when he said that it’s her choice what she does to her body and that it might only have been a one-time thing. Still, I’m really disappointed in her. And scared for her.

More scared than I’ve ever been in my life because watching my mother waste away is one thing, but the idea of it happening to Lily is another entirely. She’s my family when my own parents feel like strangers, she always has been. Ican’tlose her.

Shit, that’s exactly why I should check my phone. I already drove one person back to drug abuse with my apathy and the distance I created, I can’t let the same happen with Lily.

When a gentle hand brushes against my arm, I refocus on Sebastian, who’s studying me closely. “What’s on your mind?” he asks.

What isn’t?

But I don’t say that. He’s too attentive and too interested in understanding or helping me or whatever else his motives are. I shouldn’t keep oversharing my thoughts but here he is, looking at me so expectantly.

I shrug. “I don’t know. Last night was a mess and I have to figure out what to do with Lily. Do you know where my phone is?”

“Yeah, here.” He turns around, regrettably letting go of my arm, and takes my phone from the nightstand. Before he returns it to me, he says, “I turned it off last night when you were changing in the bathroom. It wouldn’t stop ringing, but I didn’t think it was the right time for you to have to deal with it so I took the liberty.”

“It was Lily?” I ask, my anxiety rising. I don’t remember a single time when I turned off my phone. Shit, what if my dad tried to reach me because there was an emergency, or something happened to Lily.

“Yeah. But don’t worry, I told Andrew to go get her before I came after you. She wasn’t alone in case of an emergency,” he tries to reason as if hearing my spiraling thoughts. I snatch my phone from his hand and turn it back on.

“She still could have needed me. You shouldn’t have turned it off. You had no right,” I rebuke. Then I focus on my screen that lights up with about a million messages.

The first thing that catches my eye is the amount of missed calls I have from my best friend but also from Andrew and even some from Mattheo, though I guess he called me to ask where I vanished off to rather than because he knew what I saw. He wouldn’t understand my reaction anyway.

Then there are all the texts from Lily, and finally, I see a missed call from my dad. That’s what really makes me scared. I mean, something terrible must’ve happened if he called me at four am.

I clench my fingers around my phone to stop them from shaking but it’s no use. I fail to enter my password two times before I manage to unlock my phone. Before I can call my dad back, a firm hand envelops my shaky one.

“The world won’t fall apart if you’re out of reach for a few hours. You deserve a break from time to time,” Sebastian tries to reassure me. It does little to ease my rising panic, and when I speak next, I can hear the emotion in my voice.

“My world might. I have people depending on me, Seb. I can’t just go off the grid. Now, please, let go of my hand. I have to call my dad back.” As I speak, I’m preparing myself to get up to leave the room. This is none of Sebastian’s business. I know he’s only trying to be a good friend, but this isn’t his burden to carry.

Of course, we don’t see eye to eye on that and he pulls me back onto the bed even as he releases my hand. “Stay. You don’t have to do everything alone,” he tells me, eliciting a heavy sadness within me. It’s weird to hear someone say that. It feels like I’m being recognized only that it doesn’t feel good because it only confirms that things are wrong.

I don’t say a word as I sit up on the bed and call my father. I don’t look at Sebastian as I count the unanswered rings. Two, three, four.

My palms start to sweat as I listen to the even sound over the phone. A million scenarios occupy my mind. Noneof them are good. In fact, they’re bad enough that the comforting hand Sebastian places on my knee doesn’t help.

Finally, the ringing stops. “Aliena?” my dad’s groggy voice asks, sounding confused. I could sob. Instead, I swallow thickly to make sure my next words are even.

“Yes, dad. You called me?”

“I did? Oh, that must’ve happened by mistake. I’m sorry for that, honey, I hope I didn’t give you a scare.”

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