Page 68 of Piece By Piece

Only when he pushes me further into the middle of the bed and tucks me in do I open my eyes. “I’m really sorry for last night, Aly. As horrible as it is, I forgot about the ties when I read my mom’s text. I never would have left you like that on purpose,” he says softly, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

“It’s fine,” I mumble when it really isn’t. It’s not my problem now, though. I just close my eyes.

Distantly, I feel his thumb come closer to my chafed wrist. He pulls the sleeve of my sweatshirt back just enough to reveal the irritated skin, no doubt, and his answering gasp is enough to make me pull back my arm to get it out of his view. Then, I blissfully let exhaustion drag me under.

When I come home from my morning shift the next day, Seb is preparing the apartment for the party tonight. I see the bar was already restocked, the couch is gone, and other valuables are currently being stowed away by the host.

“Hey,” I greet him, my voice sounding a lot more like my own than it did yesterday. It’s a good thing too. I hate how pathetic I was. “Is there anything I can help you with?” I offer.

He looks up, wiping the back of his hand over his sweat-slicked forehead, and gives me a dazzling smile. “Hi there. No, that’s okay. I’m fine here, almost done.” He observes me for a beat. “You look better today.”

My cheeks heat involuntarily. I cringe at the vivid reminder that he remembers last night probably better than I did, tired as I was. The only good thing is that I was able to sleep despite being alone. That does wonders to soothe my lingering fear of co-dependence.

“Right, if you’re sure. I’ll get ready for tonight, then.” It’s the first party I’ll attend since Lily’s catastrophic birthday but despite my nerves, I’m looking forward to it. Not only am I eager to dance again, but I can’t wait to get ready. There’s little I enjoy as much as dressing up and looking great. Or at least that’s how I know I used to feel.

I have to get that version of myself back even though I barely feel the ghost of her these days. She had her shit together, and I’m a hot mess of unresolved feelings and reoccurring issues.

Since it’s still hours until the party starts, I head straight for the last door down the hall. I might’ve been avoiding Sebastian since the night he ditched me but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy his dreamy bathtub.

As the water runs, I take a quick shower to wash the grime of the day off me. Since I was too tired to take one yesterday and was in a hurry this morning, I feel dirty and I’d rather not stain the bath with that.

Ten minutes later, I’m soaking in the warm water, absently playing with the bubbles as I try to think of what to wear tonight. I’m considering a midnight blue mini dress with an open back and slits from the bottom up to my waist on both sides when the door opens.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were in here. I’ll wait until you’re done,” Sebastian bursts, turning around as if he had never seen me naked. Something about that gesture sits very wrong with me.

Sure I was the one to distance myself from him last night but I’d hate to think that he no longer wants me. Maybe that’s why I chuckle coolly, telling him to turn around.

“No need to feign modesty now,” I tease him.

He smiles a little, doesn’t tease me back, though. Instead, he asks, “How are your wrists?”

“Fine. A bit sensitive in the warm water but it’s okay.”

Looking almost uncomfortable, he asks, “I know it doesn’t change anything now, but I truly am sorry. Can we please talk about it?”

“I already told you yesterday, there’s not much to talk about. I believe that it slipped your mind and that you didn’t mean to leave me like that. As I said, I’m happy that you helped your mom when she needed you.”

“I think your exact words were, that someone I care about needed me. You know I care about you too, right? And I hate to think that I left you when you needed me.” The knot in my stomach tightens, my defenses rising.

“Don’t worry about me. I managed just fine,” I lie.

He gives me a pointed look, seeing right through me like he always does. “The bruises on your wrists say something different.”

My stomach hollows out, and my default defense mechanism is to resort to anger. I straighten up, steeling my voice as I demand, “Why are you pushing this? What’s done is done. Nothing we say can do anything about it now, so it doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me. I messed up but I can’t make it up to you if you give me the cold shoulder instead of communicating. Why is it so difficult for you to just talk to me?”

“What do you want me to talk to you about? Do you want to hear that yes, I needed you too, that night? That I broke down as soon as you left and spiraled until I had a fucking panic attack since you left me tied up like a sacrificial animal? Does it help you to know that?” I snap, my hands balled tightly beneath the water and my chest heaving with deep breaths that do little to calm my frenzy.

Instead of yelling back at me like I thought and maybe secretly hoped, Sebastian frowns and takes a step closer. I can already tell he’s about to apologize again, his emotions are written all over his face. “I know you’re sorry. I’m not mad, Seb. That night just made me realize a few things.”

He stops in his tracks. “What things?” he asks cautiously.

“I think I should stay in my room from now on,” I say first.

“I thought you had trouble falling asleep?” he interrupts me.

“I slept just fine yesterday.” Whether that was just an exception because I was dead on my feet or not has yet to be determined, but I don’t mention it.

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