Page 71 of Piece By Piece

I can’t believe this. Of course, I can understand that she went dancing without me, but is it so hard to just do it by herself for once? To be surrounded by strangers and not dry hump one of them?

I grip the railing with both hands, my knuckles turning white as I try to think of what to do. I want to stop them, but she was right about my worries about my reputation. As dumb as it is since most students don’t care about me enough to even look my way, I can’t shake it.

Besides, Aliena said she wanted space and if I went down right now to dance with her, I know the night would end with her in my bed. And I’m not sure I’d be willing to let her leave it again to sleep down the hall like a meaningless one-night stand.

Finally, I see Aliena’s movements falter as she leans in to whisper something to the guy behind her. She starts walking away in the direction of the bathrooms and for a second, I think she invited him to join her somewhere more private.

Luckily, he stays where he is, turns in his place, and carries on dancing. I lose a sigh of relief, no matter that I’m still fuming, and follow Aliena down the stairs and into the nearly deserted hallway.

I wait there like a creep for a few minutes until my roommate finally reappears, stopping in her tracks as she sees me.

“What are you doing here?” she demands, her mood clearly souring.

“I saw you with that guy, Aliena.”

“So? I told you I was going to have to find someone to dance with since the stick up your ass doesn’t allow you to entertain me.”

Entertain her? God, I’m not a fucking clown. “And I told you not to let anyone touch you,” I say through gritted teeth.

She huffs. “You’re the one that told me that we are nothing serious and never will be!” she snaps. “Guess what, maybe I don’t want to be your toy forever, Seb. You can’t demand the privilege of my fidelity without the commitment.”

“My toy? Seriously? When have I treated you with anything other than respect?” I demand, only to keep talking before she can reply. “I told you from the start that we could never be serious, and I warned you that once I had you, I didn’t want to see you with anyone else, and still you climbed into my bed every fucking night!” I yell, my blood heating. After everything, I can’t believe this is what we’re arguing about.

It never occurred to me that Aliena might want a relationship. She never gave me that impression and right now, I’m entirely too angry to question it. “Is what I give you really not enough? Is it that hard for you to be happy without constant access to any random dick?” I snap instead.

“Oh, my god! you’re acting like I fucked him! We were just dancing!” she protests, her hands flying wide and her face turning red.

”Just dancing! Your ass was all over his dick, Aliena! Trust me, he had a lot more in mind than just dancing.” My voice lowers dangerously and while a reasonable voice in the back of my head is trying to tell me to shut up now, I can’t keep my next words from slipping past my reckless lips.

“I’ll tell you something, if you pull the same shit you did with Mattheo again, I won’t just sit by idly and feel bad about it. If you go and fuck another guy, I’m done. And you better believe that I won’t go back to being celibate out of respect for you.”

For the fraction of a second, she looks taken aback at my promise. Then, she steels her expression, squares her shoulders, and pushes past me without another word. A second later, I move too, heading back up the stairs to go to my room since I’m officially done with this party.

Despite knowing better, my treacherous eyes search the crowd one last time once I reach the second floor. When I see just who Aliena picked to dance with now, my anger doubles. Great, not only is she dry-humping another stranger, but she had to pick the biggest fucking jerk in my school to do it with.

Whatever, he’s a slime bag. They deserve each other.

It takes fifteen pages to calm me down. Sure, I barely soak up any of the words and it took me way too long to read them, but once I reach the end of the chapter, I’m no longer angry.

Truth be told, I just feel shitty about how things went down between Aliena and me and all I want to do is find her and talk it out so we can be on good terms again. It seems we have a lot to discuss, considering all the things she said about not wanting to be my toy but needing actual commitment.

I don’t know how to feel about that. I care about Aliena a lot, more than what’s usual for a friend, and I do think of her as mine, in a sense. Still, the downsides and risks haven’t changed. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I have no idea what the fuck is happening here or what I’m supposed to do. And we’re both so busy and with everything going on with her family, I can’t imagine we’d have time to date and whatever else you do in a relationship...

Thinking about all that is just giving me a headache. I need to talk to Aliena so we can figure it out together. Maybe she has the answers to some of the questions I don’t. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to lose her.

I set my book down carefully on my bedside table and with a centering breath, I remind myself to stay calm no matter what happens.I am not my father.I want to talk to Aliena like an adult rather than snap at her when things aren’t going my way. It’s the only way we could possibly resolve things.

I return to the top of the stairs, searching the crowd for my roommate with my heart beating in my throat. The dancefloor isn’t as packed as earlier, the students either catching their breaths on the chairs lining the wall and bar or gone by now. Still, I can’t seem to find the one person I’m looking for.

Deciding she probably retired to her own room, I head there next, only to find the door locked when I quietly try to open it. I tell my racing heart to calm down as the déjà vu hits me, assuring myself that she’s probably asleep and didn’t want any partygoers to stumble inside.

I’m ready to leave when a muffled sound reaches my ear through the wood. I freeze on the spot, my heart dropping to my stomach as I wait for confirmation. And then it comes, another silent moan that I recognize as Aliena’s.

My spine straightens, my hands balling to fists as acceptance mingles with rage and resolution. Fine, she really took someone into her room with her? I warned her what would happen if she did that. Fuck considering a relationship with her. I can’t believe I was sofucking stupid.

Chapter 32

Aliena

---