Page 73 of Piece By Piece

I wobble down the hall, trying to keep my tears in check in case I meet any of my friends. Luckily, I reach the last room without meeting anyone and with great relief, I open the door. I don’t even bother to knock. I can’t muster up the strength.

But I should have because I’m not prepared for what I find inside. The world comes to a halt entirely when I try to take in the scene. Because there he is, the person I trust most despite everything that's happened, holding my gaze while he takes a deep drag from something that certainly isn't a cigarette.

A small, broken sob escapes me. Still, Sebastian's expression doesn't change, his face remaining cold.

He's just standing there, not appearing the least bit chastised at being caught doing drugs when he knows what this means to me. He knows what he's doing with this. I just don't understand why. Our argument wasn't so bad he should want to trigger me like this.

Where did he even get the drugs on such short notice?

What even is he smoking right now?

If small mercies exist, it's weed, but my nose is already stuffy from crying, and I can't tell if it's something stronger like crack.

Oh God, what am I even thinking about right now. What is happening? I shouldn't have to worry about what drugs another person I care about is poisoning themselves with.

I take a shaky step back, my head spinning and my legs weak. He sees it all happen but doesn't react. Just keeps smoking.

At the sight of his indifference, the shards of my heart only crumble further, disintegrating into nothing. Before another sob can force its way past my lips, I hurl the only words I can think of at him. "What the fuck is that?" I demand, wrapping my shaking arms around myself to hide just how much I'm trembling. My body doesn't feel like mine.

If Sebastian notices it, he doesn't care. He neither acts nor speaks, simply watching me fall apart with his nose turned up. As if I were overstepping and overreacting and he couldn't believe I think I'm in any position to make demands. As if I were dirty.

I feel dirty right now.

"In our room?" I go on, feeling sicker than I ever have. The fact that he is taking drugs is bad enough in itself, but that he had to do it here? Knowing there was a good chance I’d find out. He only did that intentionally to hurt me. He wanted me to find him like this and break me.

"It's my room," he retorts coolly. "Don't get things twisted just because I fucked you here a bunch of times." I recoil at his crude, cruel words but he goes on, sounding less like the man that held me every night to allow me to sleep with every hateful syllable he throws my way. "Don't even look at me like that. If you can fuck the biggest scumbag inmy school, I'm allowed to take the edge off with a bit of weed. I had half a mind to find a beautiful woman to spend the night with since I sure as hell won't let you taint my fresh sheets after you let him touch you, but I figured this would do."

Fuck someone from his school?What is he talking about? He can't mean the guy I danced with tonight. He couldn't possibly know what he tried to do to me in my room just now. If he did, he wouldn't be acting like this. He wouldn't be calling me dirty and tainted. He wouldn't act like it was my fault.

But look at what you’re wearing. And you danced with him.I shudder as my fears become truth before my eyes.

Shaking my head, I grasp my stomach tightly, feeling it turn. "I didn't. I didn't fuck anyone," I whisper, more to myself than anyone else. I can't get my voice to be louder. Can't see anything anymore through the tears, and I can't breathe. A sour taste burns the back of my tongue. The nausea I've been fighting all along finally wins and I feel my last meal rising in my throat.

I stumble to the bathroom, locking it desperately when I hear Sebastian's steps beside me. I just barely manage to make it to the toilet before my stomach rolls and expels its contents.

I heave again and again until my throat is sore and there’s nothing left inside of me to throw up. Then, I flush the toilet and slump against the nearest wall, willing my lungs to work and take in the air I so desperately need.

Distantly, I can hear Sebastian scream my name through the door as he bangs his fists against the wood, demanding to be let inside. I don’t move. I can’t move, I realize. I can’t fucking breathe.

I panic, despite knowing that will only make things worse. I have no choice, lost all sense of control over my body as I curl up, gasping for shallow breaths.

The image of that stranger forcing me up against the wall, his nasty tongue down my throat while Sebastian was here, getting high out of his mind wrecking my mind. I don’t understand. Can’t comprehend why he would do this. Why anyone would do this.

“Aliena!” Sebastian calls again, and I can hear the urgency in his voice. Suddenly, I wish I hadn’t locked the door. As my lungs burn and chest caves, I wish I weren’t alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

I’m dying. That’s what is happening here, I can feel it. After everything I’ve been through, this is what kills me. This night. All because my lungs won’t obey and do their job.

I sob, pressing my forehead against the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. I don’t want it to end this way. Not when that stranger was the last person who touched me. Not when the last thing I heard was hateful words.

I start dragging myself across the floor blindly, only stopping when I reach the corner of the shower. I turn on the water, not bothering to get out of the way of the ice-cold spray that hits me first, or the too-hot water that comes out next.

I just stay there, letting the water wash away the stranger’s touch and my falling tears.

To think that all I came to this room for was a hug from Sebastian and some reassuring words. I thought his arms around me could make things better, that he would tell me it wasn’t my fault and tell me things would be all right, but look where it got me. I never should have started relying on anyone else than me.

Chapter 33

Sebastian

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