Page 50 of Speechless

“I’m so screwed. I really like her, likereallylike her.” He slams his head down on the granite and moans.

I laugh at him. “Jayce, what’s the problem? It's okay to have a girlfriend, you know. It won’t kill you to be monogamous.”

“I’d give monogamy five stars.” Preston holds up five fingers to emphasize his proclamation. I have to remind myself to tell Adamma, it’s too cute.

“Guys, Iwanther to be my girlfriend. That’s not the problem. I’ve lied to her so much that I don’t know how to come clean without her hating me. I mean, unless you think you could let me keep Rowan forever?”

“Not a fucking chance. Wait, what else have you lied to her about?”

“Well, I didn’t lie exactly. But she might have assumed this was my house and I didn’t really correct her.” He’s massaging his temples the same way Henry does when he’s stressed about his music. I shouldn’t feel bad for Jayce but I do.

“Okay, what else? Just tell me everything and we’ll put our heads together. If you’re actually ready to be in a committed relationship I’m not going to let some silly white lies get in the way.”

“Umm, I told her we . . .” He winces. “I’m sorry Luce. I told her you were my cousin.” Preston and I are both staring with our mouths open. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. My mom was half Swedish, it’s not impossible.”

Okay, that last one was a doozy, but I’m undeterred. After a quick brainstorming session with the three of us, we come up with a plan. I reluctantly agree to name Jayce as Rowan’s godfather. I’m not sure if this is actually a thing, but it does make me happy knowing that if I experience an untimely death, Rowan will be in good hands. Jayce works out the whole conversation for how to explain this to her and I don’t see how she could be upset. As long as she doesn't find out I met Jayce the same day he first asked her out.

The house is a bit trickier. We decide it’s best if he just comes clean. And if it’s really that big of a deal to her, she might care a bit too much about his financial assets anyway. She knows he has roommates, so he just needs to clarify that they share it. The Henry details aren’t important—I tell him he can leave that out for now.

As for his biggest mistake, yikes. No wonder she kept asking me about my family last time she was here. No one’s ever inquired so much about my “heritage” before. I don’t think it’s feasible to keep pretending we’re related. He said he just wanted to make sure Crystal wasn’t jealous when she found out I lived here. I guess it’s understandable, but still annoying. We decide that all the guys in the house use the term to describe me, just as a way of saying we’re “like family,” completely platonic. Preston says he’ll make sure to call me “Cuz” next time she’s over to help sell it. Why the hell not?

“All right, I’ve done all I can for you. Can you go tell Graham and Henry there’s tons of food ready if they’re hungry?”

I takemy last bite of lasagna and look around the table. Henry and Preston are laughing violently together and I think about our conversation from earlier. It’s wild to me that this friendship between them is so new. I still can’t believe I’m in any way responsible, but it makes me happy nonetheless. Jayce gets up to clear the table but stops to give me an aggressive hug first. He thanks me for dinner and for the advice with Crystal, and says he’s going to see her tonight to come clean. I really hope she forgives him. Graham scoots closer and puts an arm around me before leaning his head on my shoulder. Then he mumbles something about a food coma.

I lean my head on top of Graham’s and think about this morning, the moment Henry and I shared out in the ocean. I really did want to kiss him. I wanted to do more than kiss him.

But tonight, this reminds me that what I have now is the best I can hope for. I know there’s no romantic happy ending for me. And in a way, this is perfect. This is like having a family again, a family I love. I can’t mess it up.

22

Henry

“Lucy,there you are. Come sit down, I need to tell you something.” I watch her descend the stairs with careful precision, her hair looking extra glossy today, almost glowing. Having her here with me in the studio has become a luxury; just her presence brightens up the room I spend my life in, the one that used to feel like a cave.

“Sure. You can tell me anything.”

I take her hand and lead us both to the futon. Our eyes connect as we sit down and my nerves make me feel breathless. Am I really going to do this? I feel like an aggressively shaken champagne bottle.

“Luzu . . .Lucy. I—” Her eyes follow my lips expectantly, and I could swear, almost…encouragingly. A piece of hair falls down across her cheek, strands of molten honey. She’s perfect. “Lucy. I love you. I—”

Her mouth crashes into mine before I can get another word out. The kiss is—is this our first kiss? It doesn’t feel like it. Lucy’s arms are wrapped around me as tight as a snake trapping its prey. She’s kissing my neck, sucking on my ear, running her hands through my hair and moaning softly. She’s fulfilling every fantasy I’ve had about her since the day we met.

“Say it again, Maestro.”

“I love you. I lo—” My words are swallowed up by more kisses.

We’re tangled up in each other, rolling until I’m hovering over her. I feel her tug on my shirt as her nails rake against the skin on my back and I shudder. I peel my lips away from hers just so I can look at her, so I can remind myself this is finally happening. She grasps the back of my neck, all soft skin and sharp nails and pulls me back down against her.

Now she’s on top of me, her lips trailing down my chest to the plane of my stomach to my hip. I can feel her mouth against my skin as she speaks.

“Henry, I love you too. I’ve loved you for years. Why did it take you so long to finally say something?”

Did she just sayyears?

She rises, straddling my hips and raises a finger full of tiramisu to her mouth. I watch her tongue lap up every last bit of cream as the sound of her “mmm” rumbles through our bodies. She puts the same finger to my lips as she lowers her head back down to my waist. I savor the taste of her skin and her favorite dessert all at once.

My pants are off and my brain feels foggy from Lucy’s kisses. Her hands grip my thighs and her mouth is around me, and moving, and—and she feels so good I may have forgotten my own name at this point.

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