Page 62 of Speechless

“Oh my God, no! That sounds . . . terrifying.” She’s giving me that look, eyebrows raised and silently urging me to fill in the blanks. “Okay, so no he wasn’t underwater. But at one point he stayed in the pool after he lifted me—out.” Effortlessly. My skin heats up just thinking about his strong grip on me. I can’t get the scene out of my head…

“Henry, what are you—”He sets me down on the edge of the pool and holds up my leg, pressing kisses from my toes to my thigh.

“You said I could kiss you. Have you changed your mind?” He looks up at me with a wicked grin, his face dangerously close to my hips. “Please don’t change your mind. I don’t want to miss a spot.” He presses his lips to my sensitive skin until goosebumps cover my leg. “I want to taste every inch of you. I want to hear every sound you make. You are my favorite melody.” His mouth starts moving again. He gently bites at my inner thigh and then sucks on the same spot. My arms turn to jelly while I try to hold myself up.

“You really don’t have to do that. You already—wow.“ He grabs both of my ankles and knots them around his neck, silencing my words with a deep press of his tongue. My entire body goes limp and I fall back onto the ground.

I clearmy throat and stare down, embarrassed, partially from where my mind has wandered and partially because of Adamma’s need for information. I don’t think I’ve ever talked to a girlfriend about my sex life in this much detail before. I guess all my friends back in Boston I knew through Jack, so there was no way I would even think about talking like this.

Or maybe it just wasn’t as interesting to talk about.You are my favorite melody. Who speaks like that? Henry, apparently. I’ve never been with anyone who could be that sexy and equally romantic in the same moment.

“Okay sweetie, I’m gonna need you to be more specific. When you wereoutof the pool, can you tell me where your legs were?” She’s clearly mocking me and I don’t love this probing, but I did promise her details in exchange for lodging.

“His shoulders.” My voice comes out as barely a whisper.

I wince at my own words as Adamma stands up from the couch and starts wagging her finger at me vigorously.

“Lucy, that man ishot, and he isclearlyinto you. Why the hell are you hiding from him!?”

Of course, she thinks I’m foolish for not wanting to see Henry, but she doesn’t know the full story. I just don’t know if I’m ready to tell her, or anyone, exactly how things ended with Jack. I hate to admit it, but deep down, I’m always afraid of people saying that they understand his decision, that he made the right call, that I shouldn’t be so upset with him.

I tell her I’m just not ready for a relationship yet, that I’ve only been divorced for ten months. I tell her how Henry has become one of my closest friends, and how I’d be devastated to lose his presence in my life. And even if this isn’t the whole truth, it’s a huge part of it.

“Is that really your problem? You’re afraid of losing your friendship?”

“He’s not just a friend Dami, he’s—”

“Umm, obviously. I don’t have any friends giving me multiple orgasms.” She lifts her brows tightly, but I shake my head at her.

“I don’t mean it like that. Heismy friend, but it’s more than that. Before I met Henry, and came to LA, I was . . . well, I was in a pretty bad place. There was just nothing good left in my life. I lost all my friends except for Sarah, and you know what ended up happening with her. I thought moving out here was a place to start but I never expected to be as happy as I’ve been. I never expected to behappyat all. I’m so fucking scared of going back to where I was. I don’t ever want to feel that hopeless again.”

Adamma wraps her arms around me just as my tears start to fall. Then she pulls back and places her hands firmly on my shoulders.

“I hear you, okay? I just think you’ll be even happier if you give this a shot. What do you have to lose?”

In a way she’s right. What haven’t I lost already?

“Did you know I was supposed to get a hysterectomy a month ago?” I blurt out.

“What? Of course I didn’t know that. What happened?”

“I think I’ve mentioned to you that I have endometriosis.” She nods, sitting back down on the sofa. I follow her lead and nestle myself into the corner. “Well, I probably didn’t explain how bad it is. Mine is like, really severe. I’m in pain all the time and—well, that’s why I have Rowan. Thanks, by the way, for never pressing me to explain what he does.” We share that distinctive smile between friends who don’t always need words to communicate.

“So, my doctor back in Boston had been pushing me for a while to get the surgery. It would basically cure all of my symptoms and I won’t have to be in pain all the time. And after the divorce, I figured I should just go ahead and do it. But then Sarah called and asked me to move here. I told myself I had to help my friend, and I would just reschedule the surgery. But I think I was really looking for any excuse not to do it.”

“Damn, Luce. I wish you would have told me. I had no idea you were in this much pain. But, I’m sort of confused. What does this have to do with Henry?”

“I found out a year and a half ago that I’d never have kids. That’s why Jack left me, by the way. I don’t think I ever mentioned that.”

“By the way? Don’t just skip over that bomb, Luce. What the actual fuck?” Her jaw tenses as she mulls over everything I just said.

I wait for the head tilt, the realization that maybe he had a point, but it never comes.

“Next time he shows up here I want a crack at him. Tell Graham to get in line.” I keep waiting for the rest of her reaction, but I see nothing on her face other than anger. “So, this is your issue with Henry? Jesus, Luce. That’s a lot to carry on your own. Why haven’t you talked to me about this? Why don’t you talk tohim? God knows, he has his own issues. I’m sure he’d be supportive. Sounds like it wouldn’t take much to be more supportive than Jack.”

I start to chew on the inside of my cheek, unsure of the proper response. Luckily, she isn’t finished.

“You need me to pull a Phoebe and surrogate for you? All you have to do is ask. Have you seen these hips?”

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