Page 115 of Not Safe For Work

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m not sure exactly, but I talked to Mitch on the phone last week. And I’m pretty sure he’s not with his ex-wife and kid. He might not even be in Portland. I would tell Daan to look at his charges on the company card. There might be something worth investigating.”

“We should come here every week,”Gavin says, sprawling out on the picnic blanket.

We drove up to Sonoma after work so I have extra time to set everything up for tomorrow. With Gavin’s help and the rest of our sales team, we have thirty current customers and prospects coming to the event I’m hosting at Diamond Sky.

I called the event Sip & Sizzl in the invitation, an opportunity to meet with like-minded senior-level marketers while getting an exclusive behind the scenes tour of Diamond Sky. Andie and her boss Mario will be joining as well, coming on the shuttles tomorrow. But this ismyevent, my chance to show Sizzl what I’m made of.

“Well,” I reply. “We always have a place to stay if you can handle my family.”

“I love your family. Do you think we could bring Gabby some time?”

“Of course.”

He takes one of my hands and pulls it to his mouth, pressing his lips against my skin. The simple motion has tears swelling in my eyes. I brought him to The Meritage in Napa for dinner. Since our last trip to wine country was cut short, I wanted to show him one of my favorite places. There are several wineries and shops here, all surrounding a large outdoor area where you can lounge with their food and wine.

Everything about this moment is perfect, and somehow my anxiety is trying to ruin it.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, swiping at a tear on my cheek. It takes me a minute to even organize my thoughts, but once I do,I’m not sure how to articulate them. I don’t even know why I’m thinking about this. Because we’re talking about family? Because I love him? Because I can’t let things go?

“Tell me, please?” he urges.

“Okay,” I start. “I’m going to ask you something. And I need you to trust me that it’s not what you think.”

He takes my hand again and nods for me to go on.

“Do you think I’m marriage material?” I catch a quick flare in his eyes before he hides it. “I’m not asking about you specifically. Just, do you think I’m the kind of personsomeonewould want to marry?” I blow out a breath. I know I sound ridiculous right now, but I can’t push away this feeling in my head. I can’t push away Ian’s voice.

His features turn thoughtful, and I’m reminded again why I love this man. He’s considering my question. He’s coming up with a real answer. His instinct wasn’t to roll his eyes and shrug it off as another one of my “silly moments.”

“What does marriage material even mean?” he asks, but it seems rhetorical. “It’s just wanting to spend your life with someone, right? It’s not like there’s a checklist.” He must notice when I bite my lip because he continues. “I bet Ian had a checklist, didn’t he?” I nod. “Actually, I bet he had a pro and con list. It was probably something like, ‘con that she doesn’t have a better title at work, but pro that she has family money.’” The voice he uses to mock Ian makes me laugh.

He continues, “Did he tell you that? That you weren’t someone he’d marry?”

“Yes. Not that I was ever thinking about marrying him, but it still stung a little.”

“He didn’t even know you, Sparkles.” Gavin brushes some hair behind my ear and urges my face up, to meet his gaze. “He had no fucking clue how amazing you are. I mean, did he ever tell you how adorable it is that you wiggle your toes when youhave your first sip of wine? Did he ever notice how sexy you look when you’re building a PowerPoint presentation? Or that perfectly serene face you make when you’re listening to your favorite music?” He pulls me closer to him until his lips brush my ear. “Did he ever feel how soft and perfect you are after a second orgasm?”

I gasp and he catches it with his lips, kissing me deeply. “I know he missed all of that. Because no one would let you go if they knew you like I do.”

This.Thisis what love feels like. I haven’t won a prize or reached a goal. Fuck the ladder. I never needed to be perfect. Being understood is so much better. Loveisa house. And ours is going to be magnificent.

“I love you, Scottie. A whole damn lot.”

Tears threaten to spill again, but they’re interrupted by a phone buzzing between us. Mine.

Tristan Cross:

Are you sure I can’t convince you to drive together?

I open the text so both Gavin and I can see. He’s never even hinted at not trusting me, but considering that I’m definitely playing with fire here, I’m being as forthcoming as possible.

“What are you gonna say?” he asks.

“The truth of course.”

Me:

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